I still miss the Chihuahuas of my youth. I had them from age 12 to age 22, for a total of 9 of them over the YRS. They remind me of a happy time, a time I miss and wish I could go back to. My Chihuahuas, unlike our more recent Pugs and Shih Tzus, were actually well behaved and weren’t a nuisance.
I wish I could get another Chihuahua again, like re-living, recreating,and re-enacting that happy time. My hubby forbids any more pets(at least until the kids are all grown and moved out anyway) as they are always so much trouble; destructive, ill-tempered and nasty, smelly, noisy and messy. The kids miss having a dog too and still miss the dogs we got rid of last March and still even play “dog.” I know more pets probably isn’t a good idea, and something always goes wrong, we get the rotten or crazy ones, and it never works out or lasts for long but it was different with the Chihuahuas and I have better memories associated with them. Nevertheless, I’ll likely have to accept the fact just like with having no more babies anymore now: that’s it’s probably for the best. My heart tells me one thing but my mind tells me something entirely different and oftentimes reality is not as good as the wish.But I can still dream, right? Right now it is just a secret dream of my heart, no one knows except for myself, my diary and now this blog,but I haven’t told anyone my secret desire, knowing it will be mocked ,rejected,and criticized.
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As well, my mom still has this horrible cough and even makes these weird wheezing sounds as she struggles to breathe yet refuses to go to a clinic simply because *I* suggested it; she’s stubborn and HAS to reject, oppose, dismiss,ignore,and discredit ANYTHING that *I* say,even though as a former nurse she should know better! The 4 YR old also was grabbing the 12 YR old around the neck and choking her,and spoiled as always,too: my hubby gave him an entire chicken leg off his plate even though he hadn’t even finished his own dinner yet when the 8 YR old(who DID finish hers) asked he refused! No WONDER he’s so obnoxious and bad; he’s never told “no”(except by me) and gets everything he wants, is never punished, and gets special rights! I oppose it but of course I’m always over-ruled and my opinion means nothing, carries no weight, and I have no authority.I am completely ignored, disrespected and powerless.
The 13 YR old is a bully as well,always teasing, taunting,name calling and generally being mean(his fave. targets are me and the 8 YR old) and yesterday he was making fun of the 4 YR old but when he lost at a game the 8 YR old could do the 17 YR old made fun of HIM and he couldn’t take it; he was screaming and stomping and went upstairs in a huff, sulking, being a suck, slamming doors, etc.basically acting like a 2 YR old, so he can dish it out but he can’t take it when it happens to him,and I remember fondly when I used to play violin, before I had kids, and how Brahm’s Hungarian Dance was my fave. and maybe one day I’ll go back to it later, when the kids are all grown and I have more time?
I also hate and resent how my hubby continues to try and turn the kids into low-class rednecks like him: he lets them run around in the house, throw things in the house, eat food off other people’s plates, eat with their fingers, etc. despite my constant objections but there is a glimmer of hope my teachings might still be rubbing off and having an effect at least on some of them: the 4 YR old loves Classical music and the 8 and 10 YR olds like ballet and none of them like sports or country music…maybe there still IS some hope, afterall…
