We had a full solar eclipse yesterday, but in this area we only got 70% of it although I never saw any difference; it never got dark or anything but I did stay inside all afternoon( and kept Buddy indoors,too) and watched a movie rather than being outside like I usually am. I just saw it on the news. If you look directly at the sun during an eclipse you can go blind, and after each one you always hear on the news about a couple of morons who still did anyway and lost their vision. BTW, the movie Dunkirk was really intense(and you can almost feel the experience, such as escaping from the torpedoed ship and the panic they must have felt) after you’ve had weed. It also turned it into a 3-D movie, as I had to take an extra dose for pain since after walking around at the Ex all day everything hurt so bad; my legs, my back, my hips, my thighs… I could hardly even walk and was all bent over like an old crone…..I’m all buggered up…..I just wanted to lay down and roll around all over on a sheet of plastic smeared with A5-35. Weed works better for pain,cramps, and headaches even better than Tylenol. It just relaxes all your muscles and you can literally feel all the tension melt away.
The kids were really over-reacting about the eclipse,too: they had black-out curtains on their windows, refused to go outside at all,and the 14 YR old was walking around all day shrouded in a towel, covering up her face like a burka. For the past 3 nights trying to settle to sleep Buddy and I have both been really restless and agitated as well and have trouble falling asleep,and I keep tossing and turning and lay awake for HRS trying to fall asleep and keep waking up,and he keeps running up to me and whimpering so I wonder if it’s the atmosphere of the eclipse affecting us? I expected during it he would react like he does during a thunderstorm too but it didn’t seem to bother him. I remember when I was a kid too, age 12 or so, walking home from school during an eclipse,making sure I never looked up at the sky,always looking down at the sidewalk.
While I was away all day the other day one of the kids dyed Buddy’s tail a bright red,too!(probably because they know his tail is my fave. part on him) I know it was either the 14 or 16 YR olds(I ‘m pretty sure the 16 YR old….) but they both lied and denied it even though they didn’t even hide the evidence: his dog leash was up in the bathroom on the counter and red-dye stained wash cloth and towel still in the bathroom,and did they really think I’d believe that he dyed it himself? I mean, really? Then one finked on the other one and then they both blamed eachother. My hubby also always belittles and berates me for repeating myself too even though it’s due to my Asperger’s and I can’t help it and I’m not even aware I’m doing it, and he always harps and criticizes how I’m annoying,too, but you know what? I think he’s annoying,too!
Whenever I try to include myself into their little “circle”, conversations, discussions, activities, etc. they just reject me, push me out and discourage me anyway, snarking things such as Shut-up! Mind you own business! No one was talking to you! No one cares what you think! etc. making me withdraw even more and want to try even less and to just try to avoid them, and then they wonder why I’d rather be on my own than join them when they treat me like that, and the kids and my hubby often bring up topics they know bug me, such as Satan’s Day (Hallowe’en) and other occult anti-God stuff too so instead of fighting about it , playing their little games, letting them get me all riled up, “feeding” off it, allowing myself to be “played” or used as their “pawn” I simply either just walk away or put on my ear phones and crank up my music and tune them out and just ignore them….and then they wonder why I avoid and ignore them, and my hubby complains my music’s “too loud” too when he blasts the TV way louder than my music, and the kids also like to torment me by hiding my stuff to (1) make me think I’m losing my mind (2) drive me crazy (3) make me question my own sanity (4) annoy me, and then they accuse me of always being high and losing it myself and forgetting where I put it. They set me up. My family sucks. They deserve eachother…..but I don’t.
I went to the “Ex” (CNE). It’s worth the 2 HR drive each way. I used to go all the time when I lived in Toronto, something like 6 times every summer and I always looked forward to it as a kid and I still do. It’s a summer tradition. Of course now my back is just killing me from all the walking and we were gone for 11 1/2 hours. On the way there my hubby detoured in Port Hope and meandered thru every dinky little town before finally getting back on the highway and when I announced my displeasure he screamed down at me for “nagging” ( every time I open my mouth he accuses me of nagging) and then just to be an asshole and to get me mad he purposely slowed down driving to just 40 KM to delay and dawdle even more. The 10 YR old also kept bugging me as well by hitting me, kicking the back of my seat and taunting me by calling me stupid, fat, and saying he hopes Buddy dies and ends up road-kill,etc… so then I put on the headphones and cranked up the music on my iPod really loud to drown him out…..and then they wonder why I try to stay away from them to avoid conflict and stress.
It started to get really crowded around 2 pm there were wall-to-wall people, they were everywhere, thousands of them, it like being in India,and I really missed the city too and was so happy to be back and as soon as we crossed over into the city line I just transformed; I came alive again and the Old Me was back. It just brings new life into me. I never should have left. When I come back here it’s like a darkness fills my soul. I liked seeing the diversity of the city once again as well; the Indians, the Muslims, the Jamaicans, the Chinese, the Orthodox Jews, etc.. Part of the vendor area was blocked off temporarily too because a raccoon somehow got in there and settled up on a shelf and they had to get animal control in to come take it away. I had Indian Butter chicken for lunch as well and gyros for dinner, which is basically a Greek donair.
I also helped this old lady get a pair of shoes; I was sitting on a bench resting and it was across a shoe vendor and this old lady( 70’s or 80’s) tried on this really hideous high-heeled shoes that looked like hooker shoes and was debating whether she should buy it or not and her daughter tried to talk her out of it but she really liked them and she asked me what I thought so I told her if it makes her happy then to go for it and if she likes it, that’s all that matters, and so she ended up buying it. I saw 2 shows as well; Inuit singers from Nunavut with Metis dancers from Manitoba, and Bavarian break dancers from Germany that danced to yodelling music. They had less than half the vendors they had last year though, but I bought a lavender sachet, insense, a T-shirt from Russia, bath bombs and knee-high winter socks.
With US President Trump acting like he’s an emperor, defending white supremacists, supporting Confederate symbols(which symbolize hate, racism, slavery,and oppression) and hating Muslims, Mexicans, immigrants, etc. and almost provoking a nuclear war with North Korea it got me wondering: I wonder if he maybe made a deal with the Devil and that’s how he got elected, against all odds, and that he’s perhaps even the Anti-Christ? He’s certainly causing enough division, strife, hate,political unrest, and chaos, the exact thing that delights Satan, so perhaps he really is one of his minions, that he really did sell his soul to the devil? It really wouldn’t surprise me, esp. since I heard people that knew him previously said that he wasn’t like that before and that this isn’t the person they once knew…. absolute power corrupts absolutely…. how much more will this dickhead have to possibly do before they finally impeach him? Everyone’s also either quitting or getting fired left, right,and centre that works for him and it’s only been a few months he’s been in office and already look at all the trouble he’s caused….
I also think I figured out where I got Princess Of The Peacock Dynasty from: perhaps it’s my Heavenly name, and I am a child of God, a daughter of the King, and the King’s daughter would be a princess! A butterfly also landed on me and it happens alot; I think I must attract them, and I finally got to see our new priest and he’s 32 and a nice-looking Italian guy, I’m hoping as well maybe I’ll die tomorrow, the day of the solar eclipse, so I can go out in style, with a bang, at a memorable date, and often lately it seems that it’s close and the Other Side is so close I can almost reach out and touch it. Yesterday on weed I also noticed as I was going into another dimension my hearing aid was picking up another frequency and I heard a high-pitched sound and started to feel “funny”, like I was floating away and Buddy could sense it too and he kept pawing at me and whining.
The 18 YR old’s BF was also hit by a car riding his bike! He didn’t have lights or reflectors on his bike and he was riding on an unlit country road at night (not exactly the smartest idea) and the car didn’t see him and hit him and knocked him off his bike and ran over his leg and broke it….he’s lucky that’s all that happened to him….hopefully now he has lights on his bike, and I hope he was wearing a helmet! Holy shit! I still remember one of the oldest’s friends when he was 12 was hit by a car riding his bike and almost died and had to be revived a couple of times. He was in really bad shape. It was horrific, and he was in the hospital a long time, but he survived, and now he’s married and has a baby!
My mother also cruelly taunted me that while I’m away all day at the Ex they’ll be having Butter chicken for dinner, my fave. food and I won’t get any, which I thought was really mean; mean to have it on a day I’m not there so I miss out when she knows it’s my fave, and then even meaner to tell me! Why did she have to go and do that for,and then to tell me, just to get me upset? Then when I did get upset and told her that was a mean thing to say and do she snarked, and if you don’t shut up about it you won’t get any next time,either! and then her and my hubby berate me for having a hissy-fit. Yup, that’s right, she’s the one being mean and purposely brings up something solely with the intention to get me mad when she never had to say anything at all yet it’s my fault for getting upset? The 16 YR old also threatened to shave Buddy bald when I’m gone,too. I hate my family.
I think more and more my hubby is slowly poisoning me as well. I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve lost a massive amount of weight in the past 6 months ( 50 pounds!) without dieting or trying in any way, and I still continue to lose weight at an alarming rate, and I have other symptoms( I Googled it) of poisoning for months ,too, incl. seizures, abdomenal pain, headaches,diarrhrea, dizziness, extreme fatigue, liver and kidney issues, confusion(like in church today I thought the people behind me were speaking French when it was actually English and one time the 18 YR old was talking I couldn’t understand her; it sounded like jibberish) nausea,lethargy, coughing, etc… and he even said before that he was going to kill me off for my life insurance $$$$ and I don’t think he was joking,either…..so just in case I do die sometime soon, have them check for poisoning. He must be either slipping it into my Diet Pepsi or my cannabis oil, and when I confronted him about it he accused me of poisoning myself and setting him up for it, which, I can assure you, I am not. It just makes me wonder,and he does hate me and wants me gone, plus this way they’d have $$$$ to move(and get a house with one less bedroom too with me gone) and be rid of me at the same time…..so…..they’d be better off without me too and I’d also finally be free….I’d rather not be murdered though and if he is, I hope he doesn’t get away with it! Is he up to something….or has he just made me paranoid? Look what he’s done to me…… 😦