The Church ‘Disses Spider-Man.

screen-shot-02-19-17-at-01-05-pm-001 I think I might have the answer as to why my hubby doesn’t care about religion, always mocks the church, couldn’t care less about God and always has side remarks about my faith: the Church ‘dissed Spider-Man! To completely understand this in the full and proper conxext you must first understand my hubby’s obsession with Spider-Man. I mean he loves him, probably even more than he loves the kids,and he collects everything Spider-Man related, such as comics, memorabilia, mugs, shirts. hats, jackets, stuffies, pens,etc, you name it, he’s got it. He loves Spider-Man like I love hippos.

My hubby informed me a couple of days ago that awhile ago our least fave. priest( the one we refer to as the Grumpy Old Fart) was condemning the sin of idol worship even going as far as saying admiring rock stars and superheroes, such as wearing their images on your shirts, posters on your walls, wanting their autographs, etc. is a form of idol worship and a sin, that you should only worship God. I agree you only worship God but that doesn’t mean that you can’t still admire and respect other people and their skills and talents, and superheroes show you a good example  to aspire to, that fight for truth, justice, and fight evil. So, in his eyes, he ‘dissed Spider-Man, and in one fell swoop crushed his Hero, so, that, in a nutshell, I think is the reason he’s now hostile to the church and to religion in general, because the priest doesn’t respect Spider-Man. Uh, ok….(I can just imagine God Almighty Himself looking down from Heaven, at my hubby, face-palming, shaking His Head…..)

As well, I got yelled at by both my mother and hubby yesterday: by him for needing him to drive me to the lab for my appointment to have my blood work done and he was busy with work and didn’t want to have to be bothered(well..excuuuuuse me!), and her all because I asked her if she had a safety pin and she just goes all ape-shit on me, swearing at me, and screamed, “Go smoke your weed and drift off!” I also wonder if that time last month I thought the electric blanket shocked me if maybe it may have been a mild heart attack, esp. since I did feel my heart quivering, beating slower and slower and I kept feeling weaker and weaker, like I was fading away, the life-force just draining from me, unless it was just another seizure I was partly-conscious for, but it does make me wonder….

I think the 9 YR old’s autistic as well, as he hits himself in the face and head when angry or frustrated just like I used to do to myself before I got on my mood-stabilizing meds, and the second-floor now smells like fresh paint and I just love the smell of paint , probably as it reminds me of my friend T( from grade 5) and how she had her house painted just before they sold it and she moved away,and I was over at her house just before she moved and remember the smell and I was really sad when she moved away but then the family that bought the empty house right next door their daughter N ended up becoming my new BF!

My mother also commented critically about how I’m still the same now, at age 50, as I’ve always been ( other than the smoking pot part) that my styles and tastes haven’t changed(I don’t dress like a spinster); for instance, I still wear,and love, my Chuck Taylor high-top Converse sneakers in various colours, my fave. weed shirt, Van’s checkered shoes, band shirts,and still love and wear ” Bo-Ho”, hippie-style clothes, tie-dye, ripped jeans, etc.. I liked them before when I was younger, and I still like them. I like what I like. My tastes haven’t changed. I didn’t just wake up one morning and suddenly decide, “I’m old and  I don’t think I like peasant blouses anymore!” I’m still me. Why should age define us? Look at fashion designer Betsey Johnson; she’s really old yet still maintains her quirky eclectic style, and look at Steven Tyler; he must be close to 70 and he still wears ripped jeans and funky clothes. Who says that you have to start wearing polyester, cardigans, muu-muus,or elastic-waisted pants and orthopedic ugly-ass shoes once you reach a certain age? I will never shop at Sears. I will never wear old lady clothes. I am still me and have the same interests, likes, tastes, and styles like I always have. They’ll probably bury me in my Converse.

The Buffet.

screen-shot-02-19-17-at-01-03-pm For Family Day yesterday I did what I do best with my family: we ate! Half of us went to Pizza Hut for pizza and the other half went to an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet.Just the 15 YR old didn’t want to go to either so she stayed home with Buddy. Guess which one I went to? I ate soooo much I was completely and utterly stuffed! I was so uncomfortable my stomach felt uneasy for HRS and was even queasy, but I’m not sure if it’s because I pigged-out or if I might be getting sick from the virus that the 17 YR old and 13 YR old had and the 22 YR old said he’s now getting,too. The 17 and 13 YR olds took 2 heaping plates piled high with food but hardly ate much and it’s a shame to waste food ,esp. with so many starving and homeless people in the world and you’re not allowed to bring it home with an all-you-can-eat buffet and they throw out what you leave behind so we just paid extra and brought it back home with us.

I’d rather not spend Family Day with my family, esp. since I am home with them all of the time every day anyway(being a stay-at-home homeschooling mother), so my idea of a good Family Day would be away from my family,and my brother-in-law goes, “What’s wrong with you?” (something I’ve been asked many times thru my life) but what’s wrong with me is that I’m tired of the way my toxic family  treats me; I’m tired of always being emotionally abused, bullied, berated, belittled, demeaned, devalued, and treated like I don’t matter and like I’m not part of this family. My mother also threatened to cancel my credit card if I “don’t stop spending”(even though I don’t buy that much and I’m tired of always having to go without), and they’re always insulting me and making me the butt of their ridicule, such as saying I “take 100 baths a day” and “leave for church a million HRS early” and the 13 YR old decided she no longer likes or wants to wear a certain shirt of hers anymore now,either, since  liked it and touched it, as if I have cooties or am infectious or contagious or something.Gimme a break!

I need a vacation.

screen-shot-02-20-17-at-02-10-pm-001 The 13 YR old also finished putting the primer  and first coat of paint up on the walls on the second-floor hallway with her home redecorating project and now it has to dry and then she’ll apply a second coat. This is the new colour, sort of a bland grey. I liked it better before. I prefer bright, lively, loud colours. They have more personality. The second-oldest also hates Toronto and doesn’t like living there,and the 17 YR old doesn’t like it,either,but I like it and I miss it and love the city! I miss everything just being  right there, all the shopping, ethnic foods, entertainment, culture, diversity, festivals, etc.I really miss my old life and I wish I could move back except we can’t afford it now.Everything good is always out of my reach.

Self-Portrait.

screen-shot-02-20-17-at-03-26-pm I was bored so  for a joke I doodled on this pamphlet for breast cancer screening that I got mailed from my doctor’s office. It came with the bra and hanger and I added the body so it looks like mine. Now there’s an image that will be burned into your mind forever.Some things you just can’t un-see.