One of THOSE days…..

Today is one of THOSE days; you know, where you feel like you have this dark cloud hanging over your head.(I think it might be PMS!) I just feel terribly sad and alone, more so than usual,and sick of being ugly and tired of being fat and I hate it. I always feel dumped on in life, victimized, outcast; I feel opposite of everyone else, like they’re all walking in one direction and I’m going the opposite way!My Social Phobia, lack of self-esteem, and strong conservative views don’t help, and today is one of those times I’m just praying my way thru life minute-by-minute,but Jesus is holding me up, helping me to bear my Cross of depression, anxiety,loneliness,fear,worry,despair,and self-loathing. I am not alone.He is a Man of great sorrow and affliction and He will uphold and comfort me until this dark cloud passes….May is always a bad month for us too(and I dread) as most people in our family have died in May,and something bad usually always happens in May, too, such as (in the past) our dog dying, my mother losing her job, our house fire, an enemy threatening our family,etc… no WONDER I’m feeling apprehensive and uneasy….

8 thoughts on “One of THOSE days…..

  1. Not sure where you are at but it is a Rainy day and Monday here in IL, so it is easy to get the blues….We have a lot in common. I’ve had a lot of times in my life feeling like you mention above. My mom passed away at age 59 in May of 1991 and when I was a kid our house burned to the ground on Mother’s Day. I have always hated mothers day (at least since I have been a mother) I seemed to always have an expectation of that day and it never worked out…finally I just gave up on expectations and it has been better but it took me a LONG time to get to that point. I hope you are feeling better!

  2. Thanx for your comment. I am sorry for your troubles. If you don’t mind me asking what was the cause of your fire and how long until you could move back? For us it was electrical(waterbed heater) and it took 10 weeks to rebuild.

    • It happened when I was 11 years old, it was electrical, there was a storm and lightening hit our fuse box and blew it up. What was left of the house had to be torn down and a new house built in its place. I believe it was close to a full year, at the time it was my parents and me and 8 more brothers and sisters. We had to move three times in that year to get a place to accomodate us all as my parents would not split us up….and of course child number 10 was concieved while we were in the make shift homes. The Lord works in mysterious ways though…our old house was too small for all of us and the new one ended up being twice the size. During that time my grandpa passed away and my grandma had to come and live with us too so we really needed the extra room.
      Where are you from?

  3. It’s amazing how God works things out isn’t it? Our old house would now have been too small for us as well. It was originally 4 bedrooms when we moved in and I was expecting baby #4 and when we had the fire I’d had my 6th baby just 3 weeks before.Afterwards we also added on 2 more bedrooms but now we have 11 kids and our house now has 7 bedrooms and all the rooms are bigger than the other house. We stayed at a motel(2 units side by side) for 10 weeks while it was being rebuilt.. Lightening is a dangerous thing; I remember when I was about 5 or so hearing about our family cottage that was hit by lightening and burned to the ground and was rebuilt. I live in Canada, BTW.

    • Wow, 11 kids, you are a saint !! I have 4 kids, I had health problems that prevented my from having more. I was one of 10 kids 5 girls and 5 boys and my dad was the youngest of 23!!!
      Yes, it all worked out for the better for both of us it seems. It’s like the line from the Garth Brooks song (Unanswered Prayers) “The Lord knows what he’s doing afterall” .

  4. With us we have 6 girls and 5 boys! My father in law is one of 13 kids. I have problems having my kids too, from hemmoraging, miscarriages, liver failure, prolonged labours, etc. Sorry, but I have no idea who Garth Brooks is but I agree God always has a plan and it works out for the best in the end.

    • Garth Brooks is a popular country and western singer from the 1990’s.
      It is nice chatting with you. Is that picture your dog? We are animal lovers, we have 3 dogs, 2 Boston Terriers and 1 half chihuahua and half Jack Russell. She is adorable but a loud mouth, she barks all the time.

  5. Oh, ok, that explains it then; country music is the one music I don’t like. No, that’s not our dog(I got the photo off the Internet) but we did have Shih Tzus awhile ago. We currently have no pets now but we did before, incl. Chihuahuas and Pugs and others.

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