How to come back from the darkness?

I remember a friend telling me how traumatized his kids were growing up, and how the constant threat on their family and lives psychologically  damaged them long-term, even years later as adults. Their car was bombed, their house arsoned; they couldn’t let their kids play outside for threat of the IRA.Even after they left the country and moved to safety here the scars remain. I know what they mean; a few years ago our family was under siege(think Witness Protection and you get the idea) and we were threatened and had to flee the danger. I STILL have dark moments and am so shaken and broken from the experience I’ll never be the same again.I’ll never feel safe again,and an still constantly looking over my shoulder and am suspicious of everyone. I see everything and everyone as a potential danger and threat. Our safety depends on us being guarded and insular and our sense of security has been shattered forever.In an instant, our entire lives were turned upside-down and we’ll never be the same again.One event can shatter your world forever and everything changes. Some things are too big to be able to heal from, to feel “whole” again. Fear and terror just wraps itself around me and refuses to let go. I will carry this darkness over me for the rest of my life.I surrender all my fears to God and He comforts me, but how do you come back from the darkness? The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder lasted for an entire year, yet even now I am still haunted by the nightmare and the memories remain, making me fearful of losing my kids,and I still see danger lurking everywhere I go. This must be what surviving being a hostage feels like..now I AM a hostage: to the terror of the past, fear,anxiety,brokenness,darkness,despair,panic,vulnerability,and victimization. How can I ever feel safe in this dark world ever again?This is my Cross to bear,my struggle,my needing God even more.

Nooooo!! Don’t bomb Hawaii!!

I heard on the news North Korea is aiming it’s missiles at Hawaii! Noooo! Don’t bomb Hawaii! I LOVE Hawaii; it is one of my favourite places I’ve been to! I may want to retire there and I want it to still be there! Everyone loves Hawaii! How can they even THINK of doing a thing like that! It’s so beautiful there, the weather is nice, the people are friendly, they have strong families and faith, they enjoy their food and don’t discriminate against fat people, they have a rich culture and heritage; it’s like a little piece of Heaven on Earth!

Friday Fill-ins

And…here we go!

1. I grew up thinking….. I wish I was someone else._____.

2. “People.com”_____ was the last website I was at before coming here.

3. Why don’t you _go futz yourself____?

4.  Sitting out in the sun_____ helps me relax.

5. Thanks for the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet_____.

6. Enviro-nazis and animal-rights freaks  are _____ very off-putting.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to doing my Rosary_____, tomorrow my plans include not much_____ and Sunday, I want to vegetate_____Thanx to Janet.