My “Cross to bear”.

In Mass on Sunday the priest spoke on our “Cross to bear”, that is, hardships or “handicaps” in life that make us miserable and that we struggle with, comparable to Christ as He carried His Cross.They purify us spiritually and help us to “grow” in our faith.They make us stronger. It got me thinking; I don’t just have 1 or 2 afflictions….I have MANY; it seems my whole LIFE is one BIG Cross to bear! Between being ugly( my main one; a hindrance which negatively impacts my entire life and hinders me), my Social Phobia, depression,crippling headaches that immobilize me for days on end, anxieties and worries, breathing problem, and emotional damage caused by a life of rejection,scorn , ridicule, ostracization, no love or support, strained and “toxic” family relationships, and no self-esteem,I am life-challenged and every day for me is a struggle. It takes all my energy just merely trying to SURVIVE; and I am so beaten-down, broken and defeated by life and all the neverending and constant  unendurable tragedies I have had(our son having cancer and our house burning down are only 2 such examples) I keep getting knocked down and barely have time to recover and I’m hit  back down again with another; I have so much adversity,hardship ,stress, limits, and set-backs in life! EVERYTHING is a “Cross” to me….but the good news is JESUS suffered much of what I do; He KNOWS what loneliness and isolation and rejection and persecution FEELS like; He’s BEEN there! All this suffering brings me even closer to Him and to Heaven, and the Bible promises the more suffering in life, the greater the reward in Heaven, so I must be getting a really BIG one! 🙂

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