“Ketchup” post.

Catching up on our lives:

I have a few new Facebook friends and yet another of my kids has joined the ranks and has an account now,too! Wilson turned a YR on the 25th, so he’s now officially a dog and no longer  a puppy, and just today as I taught the 10 YR old about expository paragraphs the 6 YR old misheard and said, “I HATE suppositories!” and a plane from the nearby base was flying over our house so low I even heard the landing gear lower and looked like it was going to land on our roof and it even woke up one of the kids it was so loud and it cast this large shadow over the front of our house as it passed by! It also had been rainy and mild 9 C and we had a flood 60mm rain and washed away roads and they had to sandbag it, and it got rid of all the snow, dull, dreary,dank and yucky but yesterday and today it’s snowing once again and looks like it should for winter! Tomorrow is dropping down to -27 C again,too! 🙂

Do I have a “Kick me!” sign on my back?

As I constantly struggle thru life I seriously wonder if I have a “Kick me!” sign on my back. I always feel kicked down and beaten down by life. Even my own family treats me like crap, such as dismissing and disregarding my needs,feelings, or concerns, my husband making fun of and even playing on my fears and anxieties; he’ll even set me up just to WATCH me freak out and have a melt-down or panic attack! and I aways feel like everyone hates me and now I feel disillusioned as well… I just discovered a dear friend is not the same person I once knew and she has changed so much it’s hard for me to take in and she has changed so much since she moved away and even calls “friends” the kind of people that have done nothing but cause trouble for us. I feel hurt, betrayed and shocked. I need to step back for awhile and just step away. This is hard for me to take.It has knocked me right over!! I was also hurt to be de-friended on Facebook yet again, by a long-time friend and by someone who just moments before asked ME for a friend request which I accepted but then minutes later SHE deleted me! She’s supposed to be a fellow “Christian” as well! I fear I am too “good” for the world but NOT good enough for other Christians; I am in limbo; caught somewhere in-between and don’t fit in anywhere.My high moral standards separate me from the world but I am also “edgy”. Everyone hates me for my staunch beliefs and strong opinions, and I lose friends over it, but I will NOT compromise; I am accountable to God and will uphold His standards and will NOT condone, excuse, tolerate or accept sin. I call out sin and immorality as I see it, as God commands, even if it’s not “popular” and even if I’m the only one doing so, with the rest of the world against me, but it is hard and I feel so defeated and alone..my only solace and happiness is in my dreams at night!

Put people first!

I was outraged to read how animal freaks are sending rescue and relief efforts into Haiti for the ANIMALS affected by the devastating quake, while millions of suffering PEOPLE are in desperate need and are MORE important and their needs should come FIRST! I couldn’t believe it! WTF?? Priorities are all wrong; how can they possibly justify wasting $$$$ on animals when it can go to much better use to help the people? If the situation becomes more dire I can see the desperate starving people EATING the animals(unless the animals eat THEM, but the animal freaks would probably prefer it!) I can just see them kicking a poor orphan away and saying,”Get out the way! We have to help the poor helpless dog first!” They are getting people to adopt the homeless animals as well, nevermind the countless HUMAN orphans that need homes! How ridiculous and what an insult and offence to the suffering people that need the resources and  donations much more above stupid animals! Even my closest friend is an animal freak and seems to care more about them than about the people! It angers me to no end! HUMAN life is more important and animals will never be equal or superior to people! My concern is they’ll be so busy helping animals that the people will be left behind.What is WRONG here?

My hurting heart.

My friend has had more tests done as her blood work came back unusual and so it still is and she has a referral to a hematologist, but from all she’s told me it sounds like she has kidney trouble and as I was looking into things for her it turns out *I* have many of the same symptoms too, so could we both have the same thing?(I have chills, dizzy, sore low back,fatigue,frequent urination,brain “fog”, sore legs,itch,shortness of breath and heart palpitations).She also is desperate for a baby but at 43 and single the chances are slim and I feel badly for her, but glad and grateful that I had kids when I was young and didn’t wait too long and was blessed with many kids! I hope things work out for her and she will be ok.I worry.

It bothers me as well reading a news story about possibly US military “causing” the earthquake in Haiti; apparantly they have some  “shock wave”device that manipulates weather and natural disasters and can cause it; as a weapon to disable an enemy. Sounds pretty far-fetched I know, but who knows? If it is true, it’s horrible people can BE so evil and heartless to create and use such a thing but fitting with “Last Days” Bible prophecy which is taking place now.

I am sad as well to hear of another friend who’s marriage ended and his baby died because his wife had syphillis. Tragic and now he is alone and lives with his elderly mother, who was just in the hospital for a week. So much sadness, loss, loneliness, tragedy, illness, unhappiness, etc. it breaks my heart!