“Ketchup” Post.

Catching up:

The 6 YR old asked me,”What’s a ‘skank?'” and has a booger collection stuck to her bedroom wall,and her and the 3 YR old played a game where they farted on eachother,and the 3 YR old also broke his 3rd laptop computer so no more for him now on! The kids rode bikes wearing rollerblades as well,I got stung by a wasp and the welt swelled up 4 times it’s original size,and clogs are back in style once again so I dug out my 2 pair I’d had in the closet for years. My hubby’s nephew was also an “extra” in an ABC TV show that was filmed nearby,and the 12 YR old said if his cancer ever did come back he wouldn’t go thru chemo again; he’d rather die, which was heartbreaking to hear,and we had a birthday this week, and the kids away at university start their final exams.I have had my excruciating headache now for 9 days so far and my mental faculties also continue to decline(it’s almost as if I have Alzheimers) like today I put the streudels in the toaster but forgot to press down the thingy so they’d start to cook and then when they were warm I’d forgotten to put the icing on; this is just an example of my failing brain; I forget common words or mix up words(eg. call a phone a clock) and reverse letters(eg. “lots” becomes “lost” or “need” ends up “nned”), numbers and words and things come out opposite to what I mean(eg. “hot summer” comes out “cold winter” or “the grass is green” turns into “the green is grass”),and I am so forgetful(eg. go into a room and forget why I went there) and the thing is I never USED to be that way; and at 43 it’s not old enough to HAVE dementia yet, but everything is so hard and such a struggle for me, even basic tasks and I can’t do ANY kind of math at all! When I mentioned how I also “have no rational thinking anymore,either”(eg. when the 3 YR old locked me outside  in a frantic panic I banged and yelled at the door and it never even occurred to me to go around to the FRONT door and ring the doorbell so someone would hear me and let me in) my mom cruelly snarked, “You never DID!” which was very hurtful as well as untrue. Why does she always have to be so hateful and mean to me? She is a toxic suppressive person I seriously need to distance myself from, for my own emotional well being and I think I am doing my purgatory here on earth with all the hardships,rejection, bad luck, traumas and struggles I have in life.I can hardly function sometimes and each day is hard just to survive.Even the easy, basic things that are no problem for anyone else are a huge hurdle for me and I’m just not well equipped for life. 😦