Shattered.

My life is shattered. My heart is shattered.My Mother’s Day was shattered. My hubby ruined my day and it feels like a knife in my heart; he threw a bottle and claimed he yelled out a warning, but I never heard it and it narrowly missed hitting me in the head so I threw it back at him, in his direction and it hit him, and he snarled “DROP DEAD!” and then proceeded to tell me if I “give him the (divorce) papers, he’ll sign them” and that he “should get a mistress; a least she’d ‘put out’!” it was very nasty and hurtful and broke my heart.He also only ever thinks about himself and what HE wants and that it’s ok to inconvenience the rest of us for the one of him and what HE wants always comes first; that even HIS “loser fest” nights out are more important than us going to Church! He mocks and makes fun of my Social Phobia and breathing problems as well and never has any sympathy or understanding or tolerance for it.I just feel so desolate and hurt; he has always dismissed, devalued, belittled and demeaned me but now it’s getting worse and he’s just downright mean and nasty.I can feel something is “shifting” and there’s nothing left for us anymore; we barely tolerate eachother and basically just co-exist in the same house, each doing our own thing and going our own way.We have nothing in common and there is a “cultural divide” as well.This recent outburst ruined my Mother’s Day needless to say,and causes me great anxiety, hurt and worry. If he wants to commit adultery(although he’d also have to actually FIND someone else who will put up with him!) I can’t stop him;he’ll do what he wants and we practically live separate lives anyway, but what can I do? There is so much tension and stress and hostility I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells and he’s always blaming me for everything.I am so beaten down, weary,life-tired and can barely even hold on anymore. I don’t have much left and it is a struggle for me just to try and survive thru each day. Would you please pray for me? It feels like my whole life is falling apart and it is as shattered as I feel.Everything is caving in on me.I am barely holding on here….I feel alone.