“What if?” and worries, then and now.

It is amazing when I think about what worried and concerned me when I was a kid and a teen compared to the REAL “What if?” and worries I face now, as an adult. The ones from then seem so trivial compared to the real pressing and much more serious situations now, yet at the time they WERE important. Back then, worries and “What if?” consisted of such matters like “What if I fail that test/exam/class/grade?” “What if I can’t find my locker?” “What if I can’t figure out my locker combination?” “What if I don’t have anyone to each lunch with me?” “What if my period shows up during swim class?” “What if I don’t have a gym partner?” “What if I wear that shirt/those pants and everyone thinks it’s gay and laughs at me?” “What if my teacher/classmates hate me?” “What if I don’t make any friends?” “What if that boy doesn’t like me?” yet now my worries have darker outcomes: “What if my son’s cancer comes back?” “What if my hubby loses his job and we can’t pay the bills or even lose the house?” “What if my hubby dies and how would I support the kids and myself?” “What if I die when the kids are young? Who will homeschool them?” “What if a pedophile gets my kids?” “What if my son away at school is a crime victim in the big city?” “What if we have another fire?” “What if our enemy returns and we are in danger again?” “What if I miscarry again or have a stillbirth?” “What if my baby is deformed/disabled?” “What if  my kids drown/are hurt/ in a car accident/ die?” and so it goes. It’s interesting how life and it’s circumstances change with time and maturity and how adult worries and concerns are so different than childhood ones and how what seemed to life-shattering then is so meaningless NOW, esp. in the grand scheme of things. Now I ask myself(is it “worth” fretting over?” )”Is it a REAL danger?” “Will this still matter a year from now?” “Will this affect our lives in any way, be it for good or for bad?” I only wish I could go back to those carefree days, when I really DIDN’T have a clue what REAL worries were. Now I wish my biggest concern was who I would eat lunch with or have as my gym partner. I would trade my worries then for now any day,and just realized being an adult with adult-sized worries REALLY SUCKS and I hope my kids can stay kids as long as they can!