Adieu, summer!

Just our luck: we had booked the pool guys to come this week to close it up for fall/winter and they came yesterday and it ended up to be 30C with humidex of 37C, and is supposed to be above 30C for a few days; heatwave is back after being cooler for the past 2 weeks.Of course.As well, with my typical luck the shirt I’d ordered online was no longer available in my size(and the first place I’d ordered from before it was out of stock,too)and how can I tell if I’m maybe not “meant” to get it….or if it’s just yet something ELSE that isn’t going right and doesn’t work out for me?So I had to order another one again, and the canopy tent keeps on collapsing,and my new dress I just got ripped already as well, and it was the first time I even wore it! As for my sore tooth/gums now it hurts every time I swallow and chew and the pain has spread to my jaw, ears and head. Typical day for me.I had another massive headache as well on top of that. Some days it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed. We start homeschooling again next week as well and I’m definitely NOT looking forward to it!It has been 25 years since I graduated and even now I STILL have nightmares about it!!I can’t believe summer is almost over. Now I’m really down…shit.

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Yo Yo.

The kids’ newest thing now: the yo-yo. My hubby bought them a bunch of yo-yos somewhere and showed them the various tricks and skills on his professional 100$ yo-yo. So, of course now they are greatly impressed, but thought that they too could do all the same tricks the first time they tried, which, of course, they can’t; they even have trouble getting the yo-yo to come back up, and got frustrated and mad it kept spinning and that the string got tangled, etc.(and the 9 YR old even fell in the pool doing it;too; too close to the edge!) and despite trying it just never worked. They need more practice. It sort of reminds me of a friend of mine years ago when I gave him a pair of roller skates and he kept falling and gave them back and said they “didn’t work!” Things are never as easy as they look!

My toothache continues!

My sore wisdom tooth continues to give me trouble.It has been 5 days so far and hasn’t gotten any better. I thought for awhile it might be; at one point it started really gushing blood and then for awhile there the pain let up a bit, but now it’s back. It wakes me up at night, I can’t chew on that side(and now it even hurts whenever I chew at all as well as when I swallow) and the pain has spread all along my jaw, and I have to put numbing gel on it to dull the pain about every 10 minutes.There is a big lump that you can see and feel even from the outside. The gums have broken from the erupting tooth and there are “flaps” hanging.I also noticed, on top of that, a canker sore, and the tooth is rubbing against it, making it that much worse and my overbite makes it worse too as the top teeth press down on the sore gums. I still continue to clean and disinfect it and take painkillers. I don’t have dental coverage so all I can do is hope and pray it finally gets better, goes away, and the pain stops! This is REALLY bad!! I am really hurting!

Why being ugly DOES matter.

Recently a friend of mine commented why does it really matter is someone’s pretty, thin, popular, etc. or not, and in a way she’s right, and it SHOULDN’T matter(and it doesn’t matter to God), but yet we all know it does, it really does. For example, for me personally, I know  if I were pretty instead of ugly my life would have been very different; I wouldn’t have been passed over, overlooked, excluded,isolated, etc. and I would have had A LOT more opportunities in life and not have been as limited. I would have had more choices, more chances, more options. Attractive people are always chosen first, are more likely to be hired for jobs, have no trouble finding dates,and so on. The world is wide  open to those who are attractive and very cruel to the ugly.If I were pretty I would have attended a prom, had more than one guy(who ended up to be my husband)who  liked me, had several dates and boyfriends, been asked to school dances, more likely to have been hired for jobs,had self esteem, felt included, worthy, liked, valuable,wanted, loved,and wouldn’t have been rejected, reviled,taunted, bullied, and ostracized. I would have felt like I was a part of something instead of always being an outsider, on the outside looking in, admiring other people and their lives, “borrowing” their happiness,wishing I was them,and would have felt accepted.I wouldn’t be last in life and feel left out of life.I would know what “normal” is. There really IS a vast difference in the quality of life, socially, romantically,emotionally, professionally, etc. between those who are good looking and those who are not; it’s like night and day; a totally different standard of living.If I weren’t ugly I wouldn’t avoid looking in the mirror, hating every single thing that I see, be filled with self-loathing and resentment and always wishing I was someone else; ANYONE else, rather than myself. I would have been a totally different person with a totally different life, but perhaps if I WAS pretty and liked by guys and asked out and had the normal social and dating experience most people have that I might have ended up immoral? Perhaps I would have been vain, prideful, and sinned sexually? Maybe by making me ugly God was actually protecting me; allowing me to be a better person INSIDE, and morally, that I might not have been otherwise if I was pretty? In any case, I’ll never know(not this side of Heaven anyway) but when my friend mentioned why does it matter, it really DOES matter to me, as it would have changed my entire life and my entire outlook.It was easy for her to say,too, as she’s pretty!

Owww, my aching tooth!

Shitshitshitshit! My Wisdom tooth is at it again(I’d thought they were all fully in,too!) on the right side at the  bottom and it hurts sooo damn much it woke me up at night and I can’t chew on that entire side. With the swelling, pain, and anesthetic gel I put on I talk “funny” now,too,and have needed to take Tylenol #3(the codeine ones) and I rinse my mouth out as well gargling with hydrogen peroxide and baking soda to kill the infection. It’s bleeding and hurts like HELL! Now I know what teething babies go thru! I don’t have any dental coverage either, so it either gets better on it’s own eventually or else I just have to suffer. My entire JAW hurts now and the pain is spreading.This really sucks and I hope only lasts a few days and feels better soon.To make it even worse is my over-bite which causes my top teeth to press on and rub on the sore spot.It figures, huh?

Mosque at Ground Zero?

There are talks of a mosque being erected at Ground Zero, the spot where terrorist attacks killed thousands of innocent people at NYC’s World Trade Centre years ago,the tragic event  now commonly referred to 911. People are protesting it, blogging about it, campaigning against it, etc. My personal opinion is that everyone should have the freedom, incl. religious freedom, to build houses of worship and to freely express their faith and beliefs peacefully without fear of reprisal.Muslim/Arab does NOT automatically mean “terrorist”; the two are not necessarily synonymous and racial profiling and discrimination never does anyone any good, the ethnic group being targeted for attack, or the society that persecutes them.Most  Muslims are peaceful and just want to live and work in the community and raise their families just like the rest of us. Terrorists come in many shapes, sizes, religions,and ethnic groups, and remember that the infamous Shoe Bomber and Oklahoma City bomber were home-grown Caucasian AMERICANS; they were not Arab or Muslim.Ulrike Meinhof and her terrorist group were German, and Carlos the Jackal wasn’t Arab either,etc.I am clear I do NOT support terrorism in any form by any group, but it’s also  wrong to blame people that are not responsible and to lump them all together as if they are the all and the same based on their religion or country of origin. This racial stereotyping has gone too far. I can remember in London, upon arrival at the airport ,seeing a Muslim woman with her hijab in front of me and I whispered to my kids,”Watch this; for sure they’ll inspect her luggage….” and of course they did. It’s wrong to target Arabs(or anyone) like that, and just use the “magic words” “Terrorist threat” and a person’s legal and human rights are automatically suspended, just look at the Omar Khadr case; no trial, no rights.. NOT every Muslim is Al Qaeda or the Taliban. If peaceful, devout Muslims want to erect a mosque at Ground Zero, as a way to pay respects and to worship in unity and peace, then I say let them.What harm would it do? They are not the same people that caused the attack. Would there be such an uproar if a Christian church or a Jewish synagogue was to be built there? I really don’t think so. It’s time society stops blaming ALL Arabs and Muslims for the extremist acts of a few.I think people should be free to peacefully  worship as they choose and not be forced hidden “underground”. Remember, if they came for the Jews in Nazi times and are coming for the Muslims now, maybe they’ll be coming for YOU(and YOUR religion or ethnic group) NEXT…..

We went to the Ex!

We went to the Ex and it was fun, as always. I recognized some of the same vendors there year after year.We were gone 11 hours or so and even now I’m still all stiff, achy and sore; my feet, legs and back are KILLING me from all the walking! I got another of my killer headaches as well but luckily brought pills with me.The kids and my hubby went on the rides and I looked around in the buildings and then we met up for meals. The 7 year old luckily recovered from her sickness and just had a runny nose and cough so she was ok afterall and thought it was just called(and spelled) The X, as in the letter! I also watched a couple of cultural shows from China; dancers and acrobats, which was REALLY good and they had such lovely costumes! The only thing I hate about it is that the backs of my feet always get hit from behind by strollers in the crowd! I hate that soooo much! The weather was perfect as well, sunny but with a strong breeze(and it also helps it’s near the water so it’s always cooler) and not too hot and no rain! It is something we look froward to all year, but also a sad reminder it’s the end of summer! I bought a lavender sachet,a new watch, a velvet skirt and a tye-dyed dress and the kids got toys and slushies.This is a yearly summer tradition we save up all year for!