I Suck!

I suck. I just can’t seem to do anything right. Just ask my husband, my kids, my mother. I am a failure at everything; as a mother, a teacher, at life. My mom criticized I “should do ‘more’ with homeschooling” and my hubby snarled, “Do you teach them ANYTHING or do *I* have to do everything?” I have been doing it for 19 years now and I’m getting burned out.I do what’s easiest and best for me, as I am the teacher. It’s NOT easy,and even though public school is NOT an option and homeschooling IS best for the kids and we wouldn’t have it any other way, it IS hard work, I don’t “enjoy” it, and it’s stressful. It sucks having to do something that you basically hate every day, just wanting to get it over with each day.Every day for me is a struggle just to get thru. I do the best I can with what I have. I have many limitations, yet I sludge thru.It obviously isn’t good enough. I can never measure up. I have never been “good enough”.Others have always been and always will be better than me. I have always failed.I have never been like other people. I don’t think like other people, I don’t react like other people,I don’t know what to say or do in social situations. I have always been different and awkward. I have always struggled and life has always been hard for me. What I NEED is some support, not always ridicule, blame and criticism.Somehow my best is never good enough and everyhting is always my fault.I don’t even know WHY I bother trying anymore. I just wish I could run away, from myself and my life. I find it so hard to believe that life is SUPPOSED to be “happy”(and that for some people it is), and something to be enjoyed when all it ever is for me is a struggle just to survive.I guess that about says it all and sums it up,and on this we can ALL agree: I suck.