Valentine’s Day is a day that has changed and evolved for me over the years. For many years I hated it and dreaded it; being ugly and single, one who guys never liked, noticed, asked out,whistled at,dated,phoned, asked to dance, etc. and was always over looked and passed by it was a stinging and painful reminder of what I longed for but didn’t have and never experienced. It was sad for me to see couples everywhere, that other people had love and romance and I never did.To me it was like a slap in the face; rubbing my nose in it, reminding me what a loser I was and no guy ever was interested in me. Even in highschool the student council sold roses and all my friends(and most other people overall in general) received them from boys, often several of them, and I never even got a single one. It was a day I hated and wished would just end.It made me wallow in self-pity and self loathing and reminded me how left out I was and what I was missing out on.
Once I was 21 and met and started dating(and married) my husband I liked Valentine’s Day. I finally felt I could be included in it, that I belonged, that it was for me, that I was a member at last to an elite club. For the first couple of years my hubby was romantic about it; he’d festoon the kitchen(for a surprise when I got up) with balloons, streamers and heart-shaped tissue-paper things, and leave me roses,chocolates, and a cute stuffed toy. As time passed we’d just buy something and charge the other for it; we’d pick out our own presents.Then, as more time passed, we just got cards and went out to a restaurant to eat,and recently( now it’s 23 years later) often we would forget it even WAS Valentine’s Day(as we got busier lives with the kids and such and just lost track of dates and forgot) and now we don’t even eat out anymore; the place we used to go to changed their menu and it sucks now, and there’s nowhere else to GO in this shit-less hick “Bumble-Fuck” town, so now for us it’s pretty much just another usual day,and it’s like, “Oh, yeah, Happy Valentine’s Day!” and rush off,and now I’m kind of indifferent to it; it no longer holds the excitement it once did but I no longer hate it,either; it’s just another day, but nothing special.
Today when I woke up I got a nice Valentine’s Day surprise from my hubby:He gave me a card, a box of chocolates(Hershey’s, which taste like soap but he didn’t know and it’s the thought that counts, and the kids can eat them!) and a cute stuffed toy: 2 purple hippos on top of a heart pillow! I LOVE hippos! They are one of my fave. animals! I was really surprised and liked it. As for him, I made him a home-made card,and as for his gift, let’s just say it’s the gift that keeps on giving all year long,and not something I would post about publically, wink, wink!!