I am ashamed and resent the way I was brought up.With a dad that left and a mother that was hardly ever home I pretty much raised myself, but what little time she did spend with me she taught me bad things you should never teach your kids.Bad examples, bad advice.(Fortunately I always had an internal moral compass and deep spirituality I followed despite her) She basically said anything goes and people should be able to do whatever they want, disregarding God’s laws.(She neglected my religious upbringing too but that’s another post) She said that it was ok to have sex and have kids before marriage,to live together without being married, or to use birth control, or to be gay.She said it’s ok if people smoke, drink ,take drugs or abort their babies. She thinks it’s ok to sleep around.No moral boundaries at all! Her view is you “can’t tell other people what to do” but God CAN and it’s up to us as His followers to inform them and to raise our kids right; avoiding worldliness, sin and immorality.
I remember a time when I was around 8-9 years old and meeting a doctor friend of hers. I asked her if she was married and she said she wasn’t.I then asked her if she had any kids and she replied, rather annoyed,”I just SAID I wasn’t married!” and I answered, “Well, you don’t HAVE to be, you know!” and she was mortified. What an awful thing to teach your child!(I wonder what she thought about my mother’s parental skills at that moment?) As a mother I would have been sooo embarrassed if my kids ever said something like that! Parents should teach their kids right from wrong and bring them up with ethics and good godly morals. They should set high standards,discipline, and good examples.There should be rules and expectations. There should be limits and a sense of what is right. As a mother I am raising my kids the opposite of what she did: we go to church, I try to raise them righteous and with morals and standards. They aren’t even allowed to date until they’re 18 and finished school(even now the 2 university ones at age 20 and 21 still haven’t dated yet; they are concentrating on their studies). No make-up or dyeing hair until highschool.Proper behavior is expected and God’s rules are to be followed and obeyed.It’s that simple. House rules.
Even now I’m an adult she continues to wreck havoc on my life and my family. She constantly puts me down every chance she gets, gets in little “digs” at me, tries to turn my own kids against me, over-rules and undermines me and my authority and discipline with the kids, tries to discourage the kids from church,interferes and meddles, jumps to conclusions and blames me for everything.She also doesn’t like the 8 YR old because she loves me and listens to me above her and stands up to her, and just yesterday in fact the 4 YR old couldn’t find his shoes and he raged and the 8 YR told him where they were and my mother screeches to him, “Don’t let HER get you upset!” when she was helping him,and we had 35 cupcakes and she wouldn’t even let her have ONE, even though the food comes out of MY $$$ and it’s for everyone.She’s like a filthy stain in my life that I just can’t erase.She’s not a good example and doesn’t know how to raise kids. She never WAS a mother to me(there was no love or affection and as a result I never really learned how to love, bond, or trust) and has hindered me in so many ways and now is trying to sabotage my family.I do the opposite: she worked and farmed me out to daycare and public school where I was bullied; I stay home and homeschool my kids. She only had one kid, I had 11 kids. She had no moral standards; I am very strict in that regard.She disregarded church and my kids have been raised in it from birth.The only thing she has taught me is what NOT to teach your kids and how not to raise them!!