The Adjustment Bureau.

 I saw the movie “The Adjustment Bureau” which was about a guy who didn’t follow the prescripted “plan” for his life that higher authorities had mapped out for him; he’d deviate from the plan to pursue a woman he loved and the powers that be did everything they could to try to prevent it as it wasn’t part of the plan and whenever he’d deviate from the plan and use his own free will to follow his own  desires for his life  they’d step in and alter events(by causing bad things to happen in his life )hoping to thwart his efforts and force him back on track.If he followed the plan bad things would stop occurring once he obeyed.

It made me compare the plot of the film to my own life; bad things ALWAYS happen to me, both big things(our house burning down, our son having cancer,etc.) and small things(the train cake we tried to bake  ended up a clumping mess, every time I open the fridge stuff falls out on my head,etc.), it doesn’t matter. My life is full of  non-stop mishaps, traumas, tragedies, misadventures, things going wrong, nothing working out or going right, a high number of bad things as compared to good things, everything always going against me all the time, constant bad luck and misfortunes,nothing going my way,failures, etc. on such a massive scale I seriously believe I must be either cursed in some way or a jinx.It feels like the universe is out to “get” me. I am a walking  disaster zone.Maybe I have it all wrong though….maybe it’s sabotage by The Bureau; that I’M not following the plan and all these bad things juts keep on happening to me so that I get off course and alter my life to get back on plan?

Now the question is: what exactly IS the plan, how do I know it,and how do I know which direction my life should take,and what do I do to stop all this bad luck, misfortune and things always going wrong and not working out?I am seriously sick of it. I only wish I knew. What I wouldn’t give to make it stop.To know what’s behind it, to know the cause,and to know how to end it. My life has been a constant non-stop string of bad luck and mishaps and I just wish I knew how to break this life-long cycle.

At least in the movie they did eventually TELL the guy what was supposed to happen, what the plan was and how his life was supposed to play out,and what he was doing “wrong” that was preventing it and why bad things kept occurring. I have no idea. This is a case where life imitates art, only I don’t know what I’m doing “wrong” or how to change it. Some might say it’s “bad karma”, whatever. I wish I knew….