Our Big Fat Family Christmas.

 This is an actual photo of our tree.Christmas was ok this YR and better than I thought it would be except I never got the snow I wanted; it rained.Doesn’t it figure? The 8 YR old also made me a wooden and painted jewellery box that took her 4 MONTHS to make at Cubs. We played “Guess the disease” game and my hubby took the kids on a type of scavenger hunt called “Geo Caching.” Apparantly people all over are doing it.The 4 and 12 YR olds also both found the hidden pickle ornament in the tree.

We opened up our gifts in 2 “shifts”; the younger kids who are up early did it in the morning and the teens opened theirs in the afternoon once they woke up.They also had their stockings. I taped the 10 YR old’s hair extension on my bald head for a laugh, the kids played “Band Hero”, the magnet game they got had confusing instructions I still can’t understand(even basic life skills are hard when you’re dumb, and with my perception problem I can never understand or follow directions, instructions or maps) and I listened to the Faith Hill song “Where are You Christmas”. I’ve never heard of her before to tell you the truth and this is the only song of hers I’ve heard but it’s my Christmas favorite.

I don’t feel the same on Christmas like I did when I was a kid though; where it was exciting with the waiting and anticipation, playing in the snow,the mystery of Santa, visiting relatives(who sadly are all dead now) opening gifts,etc. I have fond memories of happy childhood Christmases but it’s not the same now  as an adult; now it’s just work really, LOTS of work: preparing, decorating, putting up the tree, mailing cards, wrapping gifts, getting stockings ready,cooking, clean up, etc.

My mother couldn’t get thru the day without being her usual nasty self, however: she gave all the girls silk purses but gave me the gold one and 2 of the girls pink ones when she KNOWS pink is my fave(she always gets in little subtle “digs” like that just to enrage me)and then snickered to me, “Why can’t YOU just be grateful!”(somehow everything’s always MY fault) and the 8 YR old asked her nicely for some chips and she wouldn’t let her, yet minutes later the 12 YR old just helped herself to them without even asking and suddenly she didn’t care and sneered to me it’s “Ok now”; I know her well and I also know very well she just did that purposely to be mean, and to assert power and control because she doesn’t LIKE the 8 YR old(and treats her like she treats me) and of course my hubby never stood up to her but defended and excused her that the 8 YR old “isn’t ‘nice’ to her”(because she actually stands UP to her!) I’m so desperate for someone to defend ME and to take MY side for once but it never happens.I am just so wounded by life and I feel like an outsider in my own family.

We also had a big dinner in the diningroom and brought out the good china. The only event would be when I scolded the 13 YR old who was picking up his peas with his fingers and I told him to use a spoon and not be such a loser and my hubby snickered, “JESUS never used silverware either and He WAS born in a barn!” You know, some support would REALLY be nice, but I’m all on my own trying to discipline the kids trying to raise them cultured and godly and he just fights me all the way.At least today for Boxing Day he’s gone all day  visiting his family for a redneck day of celebrations I dubbed “LoserFest.”

All in all it was a pretty good day!