The Totem Pole.

 We found this awesome wooden 4-5 foot totem pole in the church dump the other day and brought it home. It has detailed carvings and was made in 1955. I don’t know why they’d throw it out! This is an actual photo I took of it. I had trouble figuring out the camera mode(and of course no one was here to help me) and when I pushed buttons and finally  took a picture I tripped over a chair(yes, clumsiness and un co-ordination IS common in Asperger’s and BOTH my mother and I have it) and dropped the camera on the floor and it broke, but luckily was ok in a few minutes but I was shitting bricks, afraid my hubby would freak out, esp. since I DID kill his last camera when I fell into the Caribbean sea off a sailboat with the camera strapped around my neck!

My hubby also lost his DS and he’s worse than the kids; always losing everything; his car keys, pager, wallet, cell phone, etc. he’s an inept fop and it’s so off-putting and he also screamed at me I’m useless and “can’t do anything” because I have a hard time waking up the lazy teens but  he’s such as asshole and I’m just so tired of always being dumped on and wish I was dead; he’s supposed to build me up, NOT tear me down, and him and my mother are the ones that are supposed to love me the most but treat me the worst and make me feel like an abject failure , happiness always  eludes me, and I’m irrepairably broken.

I also had a dream I should move to Singapore and it might not be a bad idea and seems like a nice place I could be happy in. I’ve always hated it here and Singapore is conservative;not immoral and permissive like here, has one of the lowest crime rates(due to strict laws) in the world, is highly urban and big-city,is multi-cultural, exotic, has a nice climate and they speak English. My hubby couldn’t be such a loser there either since if you spit on the sidewalk they fine you 200$! Might not be a bad idea; maybe I should go on a trip there and check it out sometime? The 4 YR old  also steals the other kids’ toys and hides them under his desk. I am seriously concerned about his behaviour but of course my concern is just dismissed by my mother and hubby because nothing *I* say is ever credible or worth listening to or taking seriously. Shit.