Ashram Day.

 Today was originally the day I WAS to be on my way to India, to stay at the ashram for a month. I should have been on the plane right now, in fact, on a 14 HR journey and instead here I am at home, typing away at my computer! The past 7 months since I’d originally planned the vacation have gone by quickly though.

I was hoping for an exotic, relaxing, inexpensive, spiritual vacation but then as I looked more into it I found out they were charging for everything separate and extra, nickel and diming me as it were, and it all added up to be more expensive than I thought. They even charged for each towel you use after a shower, metered the electricity you use, each food item is priced separately, etc. and it all just got to not to be worth it so I cancelled. As it turned out, my gallbladder surgery is exactly a week today as well(my cousin asked if I was nervous too, but it’ll be my 4th surgery so I know what to expect,and besides, what do I care, I’ll be asleep!) so I wouldn’t have been able to go anyway but it’s kind of sad to think I ordinarily would have been on my way now, and now I’m not.

As well, the pool guys haven’t come all week, as it turns out they had to order the tiles from USA and they had some dumb holiday Monday so the order was delayed and this whole week was wasted. At this rate we’ll never be able to re-open the pool, and the weed wacker hates me; it NEVER works for me! My hubby has to start it(like the lawn mower) as I’m not strong enough, but within a couple of minutes it either shuts off, the wire/string thingy disappears somewhere, or the grass gets wrapped and twisted around the thing and it won’t work! I give up!!

The neighbour across the street also hasn’t been staying at his place overnight for awhile lately(yes, I know, watching the neighbours, but it’s so boring here there’s nothing else to do so this is our “entertainment”) and my mother speculates that he’s staying at some skanky ho’s place overnight (his wife and kids live out of town)whereas I assume he just got a new job and works the night shift. That’s the difference between us; she always tries to see the worst in people and I give them the benefit of the doubt, and my hubby was loudly vaccuming as I was watching the news and I told him,”If you were considerate you wouldn’t be doing that when I’m trying to watch!” and he snarled,”If YOU were considerate you wouldn’t skip thru so much(commercials and loser redneck sports) of it!” and I told him,”THAT’S what the mute, pause and fast-forward buttons are FOR!” I also got excited hearing about the stupid hockey finals as I thought it was finally over…but it’s STILL going on, hijacking all the channels and it’s been MONTHS! When will  this crap finally be OVER and we get our channels and shows back? I’m so sick of seeing and hearing about it all the time and I never want to see or hear about it ever again! NOT everyone cares! ENOUGH already! Geez! Weird as well: the power went off for a couple of minutes and then went back on and it wasn’t storming or anything…

Big Brother Strikes Again!

 Now Big Brother Nanny State Premier McGuinty is trying to force ALL schools, both public AND Catholic to not only have Gay-straight alliance clubs(under the guise of anti-bullying) but they must also have the word “gay” in them, giving special attention to the gay agenda, diminishing others that are bullied for other reasons and putting the gays to more importance. Of course the Catholic Church is against this since homosexuality is a sin and not to be encouraged or promoted (and why the gays would even want to GO to a school where they don’t have the same beliefs is beyond me; that’s what public school is for; they have no moral values, ethics or standards and anything goes) but the oppressive fascist provincial gov’t thinks they can dictate to them something against their beliefs, that the gay agenda is somehow more important,and trumps, religious rights and freedoms. I suppose the only way the Catholic schools can avoid this is by rejecting any more gov’t funding and go completely private as whenever you’re in the “system” or receive ANY gov’t financial assistance they own you; you are their “bitch” and belong to them and have forfeited your freedom, and you will be oppressed, controlled, regulated and dictated to.This is tyranny of the minority; where a small(but very vocal) group dictates to the majority,and nothing more than brainwashing in the schools , social engineering and pandering to special interest groups again, with the gay lobbyists crying “homophobe!” to anyone who doesn’t agree with them,and somehow the gay rights are always front and centre and catered to, while religious beliefs and rights are squashed in the name of Political correctness. I hate this country!


As well, on the 13 YR old’s birthday cake the dumb rednecks wrote “Happ Birthday!” instead of “Happy Birthday!”  leaving out the “y”,and I can’t believe how stupid and useless people ARE here; they do things like this ALL the time and they can’t even spell! My hubby also likes to be condescending and make me feel inferior and dumb as he talks about things I have no idea what it is and uses words and phrases I don’t understand(with my Asperger’s  I struggle with so many concepts) such as when he said the broken weed wacker was “flooded” with gas and it doesn’t make any sense to me; to me “flood” means when there’s too much water….but there’s no water IN the weed wacker, so he hissed, “Once again, you weren’t listening; I said it’s FLOODED!” but without explaining to me what flooded means in this context and whenever I ask him to clarify or explain a word or something he just merely repeats it as if I didn’t hear, but without telling me what he’s talking about so I still don’t understand! I don’t even know why I bother talking to him as everything he SAYS to me is hurtful, cruel, insulting, condescending, critical, or demeaning. I swear one of my biggest regrets was ever meeting him!

Child Welfare is STILL involved with my cousin as well, even though she left her loser husband like they wanted….so why are they still monitoring her? (because now she’s a single mom?)Once they have you on their radar and know you exist they never let you go though and rarely ever close files on their own unless you go to court and have the judge force them to(although the courts almost always give them everything they want) or just move out of the area, out of their jurisdiction.

It was 29C yesterday and felt like 37C and we miss the pool but thanks to the Big Brother provincial gov’t regulating hydro meters we can’t even put the A/C on until 5pm when the rates are cheaper; if you use electricity between 11am-5pm it costs TWICE as much.It makes a difference between a 600$ a month hydro bill or a 300$ a month one.I hate and resent how the gov’t controls and limits SO many aspects of our lives! This country is becoming a Police State more and more all the time and sadly most people accept it and doesn’t even see it or question it because they’ve gotten so used to it!

The Butler Did It!

 This is Paolo Gabriele. He is the Pope’s very own personal butler. He has been arrested and can face 30 YRS in fail for leaking documents that expose wide-spread Vatican corruption, crony-ism, and money fraud and mismanagement that goes right to the top, incl. top cardinals and maybe even the Pope himself. What I don’t get is why he was arrested: I mean, he did the right thing, exposing corruption,and you’d think if he tried to cover it UP then he’d be arrested. It just doesn’t make any sense.

I am dismayed to hear this. I commend him for exposing the truth but am hurt that once again the Vatican is seeped in apostacy,corruption, and abuse. As if the pedophile priest scandals weren’t enough,now this.Plus, the orthodox in the church(myself included) also believe the Vatican is purposely covering up the hidden Third Secret of Fatima, that they deny exists but seems to be a deception. The smoke of Satan has entered the Church and I’ve never liked this Pope. He covered up and diminished the child abuse scandal and now this. It is also believed that the Freemasons and Communists have infiltrated the hierarchy of the Church, causing it’s moral decline,corruption,and destruction..The only good is it fulfills Scripture of occurrences in the Last Days.

My mother and husband taunt me for still going to church despite it all, but people aren’t perfect, the Pope isn’t perfect,and the Church isn’t perfect,human beings sin, but the DOCTRINE is true, and God is and Jesus is and I go to worship God, not the Church or the Pope. I now basically ignore the Vatican and just worship.I KNOW it’s corrupted and I don’t necessarily go along with it but I think for myself and follow the Bible and if anything conflicts with the Bible(incl. the Vatican) I disregard it. God is still worthy of praise and worship even if the Vatican has been lost to the sins of the world,and basically ALL of the churches have been corrupted(eg. ordaining women and gays, performing gay “marriages”,etc.) and no one does what they’re supposed to anymore and have deviated from the Bible.My faith in God is still strong even though I have lost all faith in the Vatican and the Pope.


As well,the 5 YR old told me that since he’s white he’s “vanilla” flavoured and if he was brown he’d be “chocolate”, my hubby snickered at me,”You’re so good at NOT listening!”(as I need things to keep being explained several times before I understand) and to which I replied,”YOU’RE so good at being an ASSHOLE!” He always says these hurtful things to me and it hurts, and my mother was taunting me as well(as with my Asperger’s I can only see things a certain way and take things literally) when she mentioned the 5 YR old’s “Bell hat” and I thought she meant a bell-shaped hat and had no idea what she was talking about but it was his hat with the “Bell” LOGO on it,and when the 10 YR old said about “Chips in the cookie mix” I thought she meant potato chips when really it was chocolate chips. They always have a way to make me feel really stupid and to make fun of my limitations ,and I wonder as well if  my ailments( weight gain, brain fog and forgetfulness, fatigue,etc.) might just simply be pre-menopause?

Kub Kars Race Winners!!

 These are the this year’s Kub Kars the 9 and almost 11 YR olds made. The race was over the weekend and they BOTH won: the 9 YR old came in first place for fastest car and the 10 YR old came in second! The 9 YR old’s car is a pink hippo(we both love hippos!) and the 10 YR old’s is a make up kit.My hubby also finished his antibiotics and his rash/hives/itch,etc. is finally starting to get better and now I’m seriously wondering if maybe he was even allergic to the pills and that was what was worsening it and now that it’s getting out of his system he’s getting better? A couple of our kids are allergic to penicillan  and allergies do run in families so they must have got it from somewhere and I’ve had it before and I’m not allergic to it, so….

I also got a racist and hateful e-mail about Muslims(how they’re all evil, plotting,and trying to take over the world,etc.) from a long-time friend(18 YRS) and I was so dismayed and disappointed she’d send something like that so I replied that I thought it was racist and uncalled for,and it seems to be open season on religion, but if it were about gays,for example, it wouldn’t be tolerated in this Politically Correct socially engineered society,and it’s supposed to get up to a scorching 30C today with the humidex of 39C and of course the pool’s still  not ready yet so we’ll be sweltering and it’s supposed to rain and storm pretty much all week too so the pool guys won’t be able to get the tiles on,either!


It’s Memorial Day in USA as well and due to it I notice even MORE American nationalism and flag-waving online than I usually do….ad nauseum, there were 2 police cars and 2 firetrucks over at the neighbour’s I have suspicions are running a meth lab or crack house, we reg’d the kids for Bible Camp in summer,and I figured about those stupid “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” shows why don’t the Bachelor and the Bachelorette just marry EACHOTHER and spare everyone 2 very lame-ass shows? I’m disappointed as well to learn the charity we donated easily over 50 bags of clothing to just recycles it and uses the $$$$ when I’d thought that it went to clothe needy children; I didn’t know the clothes were being destroyed!

The 5 YR old kicked the 9 YR old in the stomach as well(because she turned off the TV) and hit 4 of the other kids too because they didn’t do what HE wanted and of course my mother blamed THEM, that THEY “must have started it and  done something FIRST to aggravate him and set him off” when really it’s because he’s just a brat, but with her it’s always everyone’s else’s fault, never his; she enables him,and when I punished him she sneered *I’m* “always ‘at’ him for everything” and he screamed at me I’m the “meanest person in the family” (I told him he’s the baddest!)and said for me to “leave this family!”  and  repliedI wish I COULD! He’s just so bad and it’s affecting my relationship with him! The way I explained my upcoming surgery to him I also said,”The doctors will cut holes in me and take out something inside that doesn’t work anymore.”