Learning To Be Content.

 I have to learn to be content. I am always waiting for, planning, looking ahead to, or worrying about,rushing to, the next thing, and always rushing thru life, and miss the present moment. I am always fretting about and bemoaning all the shit in my life(and believe me, there IS alot, more than my fair share that’s for sure) and not stopping to enjoy or recognize the good, or the things that DO work out, probably because there are so few of those.For me the negative grossly outnumbers the positive.

There would be like 1 thing that DOES turn out for every 9 that don’t for me, so it is hard for me to not dwell on it when it’s the majority and the norm, but I am going to try and appreciate when things DO work out or go right, like when I do have a good day for example, or the PVR did record the movie I set ok, when I get a magazine in the mail, hearing from a friend, having a nice meal, when the kids behave, a day I don’t have a headache, enjoying a good movie,smelling a flower,watching the birds,remembering happy memories of the past, holding on to happy memories,relaxing outside,hearing good news, getting a good sleep, when someone says or does something nice, when something I ordered shows up in the mail,etc. I have to learn to appreciate the good things and the small things, to be glad when things work out the way they’re supposed to,to not take it for granted(esp. for someone like me where things rarely go right) and to be content with what I DO have and to try and not concentrate on the negative. This will be hard for me as all I usually get is shit in life but I am going to make an honest effort to notice and enjoy the good(even if it comes so seldom) and to be content with what I DO have: good health(well, sort of) enough food, our needs are met we can pay our bills and the like.We don’t owe any debt and our family is provided for.

God has blessed us with much and has always looked after us, taken care of us, warned us,and protected us,guided us, kept us safe,and provided for our needs and for this I was always be grateful. I am also thankful for my strong faith as it keeps me going and helps me thru all the traumas, difficulties, struggles,trials, hard times, and misfortunes I have to face in life.  My life has never been “easy” and every day is a struggle for me to survive but I will try to learn to be content and to simplify my life AND my expectations and worries.