No More Diaries.

 I have been writing in a daily diary now ever since 1980 when  I  was 13 and got a diary in my Christmas stocking. The problem now is  no one makes them anymore or sells them, with everything being on computers nowadays so I have been unable to find any more after this YR’s is done. The company that makes the ones I’ve been using no longer makes them and no stores sell them and I couldn’t even find any online to order. I’ll have to end up getting books with lined pages that I’ll just have to put in the dates and make my diary myself. The one I have now(my last one) has each day pre-dated and it has a lock. It is sadly the last of it’s breed and has now become extinct. This saddens me and my diaries are the kids’ legacy; I have everything written down and recorded preserving memories both good and bad, so that later when I’m dead and they inherit them they will have a written record of their history where nothing has been forgotten.

As well, it’s supposed to get up to 35 C today and feel like 44 C and my hubby said he’ll return and exchange the new a/c and it makes me feel badly as it’ll be rejected and unwanted like I am so I told him it’s good enough, and my mother and I were sitting outside on our front porch when these girls walked by and they kept staring at my bald head so my mother yelled out to them,”See what happens when you dye your hair?” and they just looked horrified, and what I was thinking was, “Take a picture, it’ll last longer!” Even in this oppressive heat the 16 YR old still wears heavy long sleeved hoodies and such(I wonder if she’s cutting her arms and is hiding it?) and in the summer the kids don’t need to have baths either as they’re in the pool all day, and the water now is 82 F which’s the warmest it’s ever been!

The 11 YR old also has sewing and quilting camp this week and her and the 9 YR old dressed up in funny costumes and wigs and went dancing down the street and I remember childhood being such a fun time and you can look and  be as outrageous as you want in public without a care in the world ,just having carefree fun,despite if people laugh at you and you don’t care what people think,and I see the surgeon for my follow-up app’t today as well and the kids were wondering if he still has my gallbladder that I can bring home and keep in a jar…..yeeeeccchh! My hubby makes me flash him my boobs whenever he does something for me too and it occurred to me am I sort of “prostituting” myself?