Rasta Wristbands.

 I ordered these Rasta wristbands(as I love Reggae and the Caribbean, which I have been to most of the islands) online from USA but of course they don’t ship to Canada so had to send it to an address in USA and then they re-ship to us. Cool idea except what was supposed to be just over 2$ ended up costing me 20$! I hate this country; we can’t get anything good here and everything I buy I either have to order online or get  when I travel overseas. I also joined online support groups for people that have Asperger’s, Social Phobia, PTSD,and depression just like I do so I think being with others who are like me and understand will be helpful to me esp. since I have no support from my family; only condemnation and even blame! I still haven’t got my headache pills yet either; the pharmacy hasn’t heard back from the doctor yet and when we called her her voicemail was full so couldn’t leave a message and went to the pharmacy and they showed us in their log book that they had indeed tried to call her 3 times. WHY do these things ALWAYS happen to ME? I really think I must be cursed! I also heard the loser hockey might go on strike and I hope they DO; it’ll be a dream come true for me; an entire winter where that crap doesn’t take over the TV! It happened before and it was wonderful!

I wonder as well if my brain decline isn’t a tumour but early-onset dementia or Alzheimers the good is at least I hope I can forget all the traumas and other bad things that have happened to me but I hope I don’t forget all my happy memories too(and they’re all I have now; my only joy) and my hubby told me a friend of his sent his friend a fake bomb in the mail and on the outside labelled it as “C-4 bomb case” and Fed Ex called the bomb squad and they detonated it! I bet the FBI was at his house,too! The good is at least they noticed it though; I think it would  have been worse if it got thru and it could have been real! At least someone noticed it! All my traumas have worsened my Social Phobia as well and changed everything in my life: my home, my family, my relationships, way of thinking, sense of security, level of spirituality, my body, my mind, weight gain, nervous habits(like biting my fingernails) concentration,trust and belief in others, attitude,outlook, emotional well-being, self-esteem, etc. and everything in my life  was buried with my past, life as I knew it ended, happiness dissolved,nothing would ever be the same again,and it changed me and my life forever. Some scars are too deep, some experiences too horrific, that you can never heal or recover from them and it leaves you as an empty shell of your former self.