Dedushka.

 My grandfather was a very cold, aloof person.He died over 20 YRS ago and I  was never close to him.Even his own son wasn’t close to him; he kept his distance from everyone,and even when I was a kid and I’d go visit him and my grandmother he’d say hello and then go off to his room and I hardly ever saw him.As I grew older I knew him not only to be a stern man but also horribly racist and bigoted(he hated blacks,Jews, and Japanese esp.) and we’d argue over it. It wasn’t until many years later that I had a better understanding of him and knew what made him tick and realized why he was that made him what he was and why he was he way he was(well, except for the racist part). My grandmother’s nephew had told me that he came from a large family and that his father was this violent alcoholic who used to beat him and when he was 14 he beat him unconscious one day and so badly that he left home and never looked back. I can’t even imagine what that must have been like for him.I cried when I heard that and my heart ached for him as a boy. All of a sudden it all made sense; why he was so cold and stand-off-ish.Why he never bothered with his own son and left my grandmother to raise him; he never knew how to love, bond, or how to be a father. Maybe he was also afraid to; afraid of being like his own father. Once I knew what his childhood had been like I had a new understanding of him and could sympathize with him and knew why he was the way he was; why he seemed so cold and distant. Maybe it was the same for my aunt as well; she had always been mean, always yelling and a real bitch; a really nasty and miserable piece of work and my mother had told me later that her first husband had beat her. Maybe she was was just unhappy? Perhaps she was just like me; so depressed and miserable and unhappy in life? Usually people that are angry are just the most hurt and the the most unhappy. So now these people that I had thought were so heartless, cold,and just plain mean were more “human”; they suddenly had more “depth” and I had a new understanding and respect for them and it got me realizing that we never really know a person’s entire story; we don’t know what a person has gone thru to make them who they are.

On the other hand, my grandmother was the most remarkable woman I have ever known.She would have been 100 this year and was before her time; she drove before it was common for women to do so, she was very intelligent, very smart  and excelled at math , brilliant at business and did very well investing.She also played piano,knitted, crocheted and sewed, but also built the deck out the back of her house, layed down carpeting,handy around the house(that’s what you get when you grow up with 5 brothers and are the only girl) and sewed and hung up drapes and made matching bed quilts. She sewed clothing as well and planted a huge garden that took up her entire backyard and knew everything about every tree and flower,travelled all over, was cultured and refined, proper, a real lady, was righteous, had good morals and high standards and went to daily Mass.She was also strict and spoke her mind.She was in the army in WWII and that’s where she met my grandfather and she didn’t marry until she was 30.

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As well, we cleaned out the deep freezers and they had all this gunky fetid putrid water from the rotten food and it reeked to high heaven and stank like a combination of rotting maggots,garbage, dead bodies, barf, and diarrhrea, and it wafted thru the entire house and we were all gagging and wretching(my hubby even actually puked 3 times!) and we had to open all the doors and windows all day to let the stench out and even so it STILL stinks in here, and in the news it said this baseball player wrote the words ,” Tu ere maricon” on his face(he says it was just for a joke) which they claim is Spanish for “You’re a faggot” but it can ALSO mean “pussy”, “wuss”, “wimp”, “sissy” etc. to intimidate the other team, but of course with the gays everything has to always be about them all the time, so now he’s been suspended for 3 games for “homophobia” I think is stupid; why does everything always have to be a gay issue all the time? They really need to get over themselves; they’re way too sensitive and take offence at everything, and why should society always feel they have to be walking on eggshells all the time to be super-sensitive as to not to offend them, and to always  bend over backwards to appease and pacify them? Not everyone is preoccupied with going out of their way to please them. My mother’s new passport finally came as well and she always has me e-mail the travel agent(as she doesn’t know how to use the computer) but she’s always changing her mind and nit-picking and says she wants the cheapest flights but then complains there’s a connection and wants a direct flight but then that’s too expensive, and then it’s too early and wantsa later one,and then mad they’re charging for luggage and wants another one instead,and then it’s too long a wait at the airport, and then it’s something else, etc; always complaining and I have to keep telling her something else on her behalf  and it’s embarrassing; I think the travel agent must think I’m an annoying pain in the ass always pestering her and I’ve HAD it; she has to just make up her mind and STICK with it!