Today’s Thought.

Ambushed!!

 Yesterday while I was sitting out on the front veranda(it was a balmy 20 C and the kids said “It’s too hot!” are they KIDDING? It was wonderful!!) I was “ambushed” by 2 LDS (“Mormon”) missionaries  and I was “cornered” and couldn’t run into the house and leave( as that would be rude) and had no place to hide so I was basically “stuck” there and had to talk to them. It was my hubby’s fault, really; they have been coming around for awhile and he talks to them and told them to come back any time,which I don’t think is fair to them as it “leads them on”; giving them false hope, so afterwards I gave him the Evil Eye and tried to bore a hole into the centre of his forehead with my mind for setting me up. As you may know, about 10 YRS ago I joined the LDS church but left  7 YRS ago to return to the Catholic Church and I was hoping when I told them that that they would go away but they didn’t and asked me why I left,interrogating me, so I told them(even though I hadn’t planned on bringing it up),and we ended up having quite a lively 30 min. discussion about that and about God,and  religion(my mother was there the whole time and said ,”They must think you’re opinionated!” but they ASKED so I told them!) and I let them know what I believe,too, and perhaps maybe I even “converted” THEM ( ha ha) but  I was polite and respectful about it, and I told them I still do respect the Mormons and admire their high moral character, clean living and pro-life, pro-family stance, but that it just wasn’t for me due to the other issues I had. My hubby said that their church was “funner”(then RC) but then why didn’t HE ever get baptized into it then,and besides, you don’t go to church to be “entertained”; you go to worship GOD,and if you don’t fully believe 100% in your heart then you shouldn’t really be there, and there were just too many strange things and things I felt were blasphemous and that contradicted the Bible(and too much emphasis on the Book Of Mormon above the Bible) and I thought Joseph Smith was a fraud, for example,and if I didn’t believe certain things(some that were the basis of the church) it didn’t feel right being there or bringing my kids up in it and I don’t think there’s just one “true” church and that all the others are “wrong”(I mean, doesn’t EVERY religion think that THEY are the one true right one?) and that instead there are many paths to God(as long as you don’t worship idols or any other false gods), just different ways of worshipping Him.

As well,my hubby grumbled he’s “Tired of everyone always asking him everything all the time” and I told him then maybe he shouldn’t have had kids then, I heard the new passports aren’t going to have the fingerprints and retinal scans on them afterall, thank God,but  they’re going to have images of redneck loser hockey on them(spare me!) and I never got my magazine in the mail yet this month ether and it usually comes on the 21st or 22nd so I e-mailed them and they said it was sent out so if it doesn’t come next week they’ll send me out a replacement issue, but doesn’t it figure though; it likely got delivered to the wrong address or lost or stolen in the mail,my mother and the 16 YR old are going  back to the Caribbean next weekend and there’s this massive hurricane there that’s turning into this Super Storm, they’re calling the Storm Of The Century and they say it’ll hit the worst here on occult Hallowe’en so it’ll be a wash-out for the little Satanists( ha ha!) so maybe God’s way of putting a damper on Satan’s celebration, and next door only 2 of the guys working on their veranda actually ever do any work and the other 3 just stand around watching and do nothing; it’s like the 3 stooges(in this case the 5 stooges) and they got the wrong size wood and had to go back and exchange it and one of them hit his thumb with a hammer; I swear the dumb rednecks here are just sooo inept and stupid,and the plumbers were over there all day , too, so I guess they still don’t have any drainage, and my friend from grade 10 married an American a couple of months ago and sold her house here a couple of weeks ago and they moved there( I mean, who’d want to live in this country, right?) but now there’s a problem with immigration and she had to come back(he’s still  there) and has to stay with family now  and work it out from this end and if I was her I’d just go over there as a visitor and just stay there! What a hassle!

Today’s Musing.

Memories Of Fall.

 I have always loved fall. I love the beautiful leaves, the crisp cool air, the smell of wet leaves, and the memories it brings back of autumns of my childhood.The only thing I don’t like about it is occult Hallowe’en is in October. The photo seen here is of the maple tree next door which is now 3/4 devoid of leaves. I have happy childhood memories of walking to and from school in fall, looking at the pretty leaves, walking thru the leaves, rustling at my feet, jumping in piles of leaves,cat shit sticking to me, and of the smell of wet leaves in the rain. I remember sitting on a roof behind my school at recess and lunch in the fall, in peaceful solitude, watching the squirrels gather nuts, climbing the trees(both the squirrels and myself), as I also gathered acorns and chestnuts.(I still like to watch the squirrels today!)It brings back fond memories,and I actually liked school up to and incl. age 12; the bullying started at age 13. I am also grateful and thankful for small blessings, gifts,and mercies as well; for the beauty of fall leaves, for sparkling snow, for the sun on my face, for chirping crickets, for singing birds, for reading a good book, for when the now-18 YR old smiles at me or isn’t mean, for when something goes right(as it rarely does), for when the 5 YR old sits on my lap(as he hardly ever does),for a good day(I rarely have), for happy memories, etc.

As well, it was 22 C yesterday and felt like 26 C and we broke a 49 YR record high !  The neighbours are getting a new veranda built and said it costs 10 000$ and the owner already put 50 000$ into fixing the slum and I wonder where in the hell people GET that kind of money FROM and my mother said when we’ll be short of $$$ soon that she might have to go and get a job at Wal-Mart or something to bring in the extra $ to make up for it so we can afford food,and the kids raked leaves and got so many bags and the 18 YR old griped it’s a “dictatorship” and how come I didn’t do any and I told him with my bad back I can’t bend over and my hubby told him,”That’s why we have kids!”( to do the work) and I told him if he doesn’t like it he can always move out and he told me “Stop whining!” and I told HIM,”The only one whining is YOU!”

I also had weird dreams: that someone jumped over our backyard fence and smashed all our garden gnomes and statues(which are now  safely “hibernating” in the shed for winter) and that I was on a Toronto streetcar and the fare was only 75 cents when in actual fact it’s now about 3 $ each way,and even though I haven’t forgotten the rude, pushy people there or all the crime(the reasons we left in the first place) I still do miss the city and want to return there, and I don’t know WHAT  I’m more sick of always hearing about all the time, either: Hallowe’en, the American election coverage, hockey, baseball, or football, but luckily soon ALL of them will be OVER with and I can hardly WAIT! Enough already and there are alot more important things going on in the world that take priority and that should be taking precedent.

Today’s Laff.

MRI Musings.

 I am relieved that I will finally be getting a brain MRI to find out what is causing my immobilizing headaches, brain decline, forgetfulness, and various other symptoms. I am glad my doctor believes me and she validates me and is concerned as well and agrees with me that it’s not normal and that something’s wrong. It will good to finally have some answers and to know what we’re dealing with, unless, of course, it comes back normal(although I doubt it; SOMETHING has to be causing me all this trouble and show up)or inconclusive and then we’re right back to where we started. I was also surprised to learn when I was doing research on Chiari Malformation(the most likely possibility at this point, unless it’s an amazing coincidence since I have so many of the symptoms and everything’s all connected) that frequent urination, irritable bowel syndrome, and hearing loss(all of which I also have!) are also common in Chiari sufferers(on top of all the other symptoms I already have) but until now I never  knew were related; I just thought I peed alot as I was just “stretched out” from having all the kids, and that my daily cramps and diarrhrea was perhaps Crohn’s or Colitis, and that hearing loss was just a natural part of aging….The more I read, study,and learn, the more I find that all my ailments are connected and are all somehow related to my Marfan’s and/or Chiari. Chiari also only affects 1 % of the population(just like my Cholestasis was,too!) but that’s me; I always end up being that rare exception, the unusual statistic, the unexpected reaction, the unlikely case study, but never in the good way though; not in  the lucky sense! I’d be the one-in-a-million that would get hit by lightening, not the one-out-a-million that wins the jackpot!

I am eager to have the scan and find out what’s wrong(and to get it dealt with) but I also have concerns about getting  the scan such as what if I have a case of diarrhrea( I get it several times daily and usually have to take an Immodium daily) while I’m stuck in the tube for an hour? What if I have to go pee?( I generally have to go every 10 minutes or so) or I have an itch or have to sneeze? What if when they scan my brain they say they don’t see anything; that I don’t have a brain, or that it all shrivelled up and it’s really small(I’ll be sooo embarrassed!) I seriously wonder as well if I’ll even be able to stay completely still for that long(esp. with my sore back!) and I’m worried what if what they find ends up to be something really bad(like brain CANCER or something) or if they don’t find anything at all(and then I’m still no further ahead!) The gross thought occurred as well for people getting whole body scans if they’re on their periods that the scan would actually show the tampon in there,too (I laughed out loud at the gross visual at that one!) kind of like the naked body scanners at the airport, and if I end up getting my scan in 2 weeks I’ll be on mine as well. Ugh, “perfect” timing.

Either way, I’m glad to finally be getting tests done. The blinding headaches of Chiari are commonly misdiagnosed as migraines and the detection of Chiari is typically  overlooked by doctors, and the malformation is often  misdiagnosed and hard to treat and patients typically suffer for years before it is recognized and treated. For me it may even end up being something as simple as herniated discs in my neck causing neck pain and headache(although it still doesn’t explain all the other symptoms) although I have a strong suspicion it’s Chiari more and more all the time and expect that’s what will most likely show up(as does my doctor) and will actually be surprised if it isn’t….

 

Wordless Wednesday.

Today’s Pondering.

Getting An MRI!

 I saw my doctor to renew my headache prevention meds(been on for 2 months now) and she doubled the dose as I was building up a tolerance to it since the headaches were still breaking thru.(It works as a mood stabilizer for bi-polar disorder as well) She also gave me pills to get rid of the headaches when they do show up,and meds for anxiety and stress, although nothing yet for my still high BP ( 160/100) as she thinks it might just be related to the headaches and stress and if you eliminate(or at least get under control) the headaches and stress you control the high BP; it’s like a circle. She also shares my concern that there is something wrong with my crippling headaches and increasing brain decline and forgetfulness and disagrees with my hubby and mother who just dismiss it as “age” since I’m only 45 and I don’t have a family history of early-onset dementia(the only person in my family to have Alzheimers, for instance, was my grandmother and she didn’t get it until she was in her 80’s) esp. added with the fact I have Marfan Syndrome(and my father and grandfather also had the physical traits of it (as does my oldest son) and very likely had it as well esp. as it is genetic) which often co-exists with Chiari Malformation,and I have the sore stiff neck that goes along with it as well, so there’s enough ‘high coincidences” that warrant an MRI scan, to either show what’s causing my concerning and worsening symptoms or to at least rule out what it’s not, or if it’s a normal scan for peace of mind that it’s not anything serious, and if it is to know what it is and what needs to be done from there for example be referred to a specialist and  if it’s a brain tumor I’d need surgery or if it’s Chiari I’d need brain decompression surgery). She said it might even be from an old head injury(like from when I fell down the stairs in Kindergarten and went unconscious) or low blood flow to a certain part of the brain,or seizures, etc. I’m just relieved that someone FINALLY believes me and takes it seriously! I have been begging for a scan to find out what’s wrong for so long! I know SOMETHING’S wrong and now I’ll finally have some answers! She surprised me as well to say it’ll be booked in just a WEEK; usually things in this country take MONTHS to book but she said the MRI at the hospital there (in a town 40 min. away) is NOT paid for by the gov’t(unlike in most other places) but by a fundraiser by the town, so you can get in quicker! I’m just so glad something’s finally going to be done and that I’ll find out what’s been causing all my symptoms!! I’ve never been so excited for a medical test! She also said due to my extensive blood work I had done before other things have been ruled out such as kidney disease or diabetes.

On the drive there I also saw so many beautiful trees with their fall coloured leaves, and a truck went by carrying piglets and they were sticking their cute little snouts out of the holes cracking me up, and on the way home we ate at Pizza Hut and I had a pasta and my hubby tried this new pizza that had a HOT DOG stuffed in the crust and it just cracked me up; I mean, who ever would have thought of the idea to put hot dog weiners in a PIZZA? It’s also going up to 20 C tomorrow and Friday but then dropping down to just 7 C on Sunday and a few parts of the country have had snow already,and my cousin who lives in the UK has left for Spain already(she spends every winter there) the 9 YR old calls antonyms and synonyms “Anthonys” and “symphonies”,and next door they finally filled in the 5-6 foot trench they had dug in their front yard but they have a portable outdoor toilet in the backyard that they still have to use, like an outhouse, but at least they have their electricity, heat and water back now!

Today’s Larf.