3 Wishes.

 If I had 3 wishes that would change my life they would be:

1. That I wasn’t ugly.

2.That I didn’t have Asperger’s Syndrome.

3. That I never met my hubby.

If so, my life would have been sooo different and I would have had so many more chances, opportunities,and choices. I also read that people with Asperger’s and Autism have a high pain tolerance which might also explain why when I had gallstones that it wasn’t as painful as I had always heard (I’d only rate it a 7/10 on the pain scale when they were at their worst) and why with my first baby out of the 24 HR labour I went 18 HRS without anything for pain, and I never had “school spirit” or community pride or anything like that, either, and I’m sure my Asperger’s has alot to do with that as well, and it affects every aspect of my life,sets me apart from other people, and  limits, restricts, and impairs me in every way, and my mother said that my marriage isn’t THAT bad as at least he doesn’t cheat on me(like my father did to her) but  that’s not the ONLY cause of an unhappy marriage though, and she taunts me that I can’t leave( like SHE did) and can’t live on my own; I have no job or life skills(don’t know how to pay bills, do taxes,banking,etc.) and will always be dependent due to my Asperger’s and need someone to take care of me and can’t survive on my own. She’s just cruel, hateful,and hurtful, and says *I* put HIM “down” too when I stand up for myself when HE mistreats and talks down to ME!

My mom also took a taxi and the driver told her that most of the town is on welfare and always go to the beer store; that about sums it up and says it all; they’re all a bunch of rednecks and losers, and yesterday I went to the local “Black Friday” sales (still nothing compared to the American version though)at the stores and they had reduced prices and a tax-free day (and alot more crowded than usual, too)and I found a few things but  not much from the kids’ Christmas list so my hubby said he’ll check later when he’s in Toronto for work at the stores there where they have more selection. I also wonder if my bad lower back pain might even be kidney stones as it’s a common side-effect of my headache pills which I have been on for 4 months now, and I get my brain MRI in 3 days,too!

2 thoughts on “3 Wishes.

  1. Don’t short sell yourself – you are probaby a lot more capable than you are allowed to believe. If your marriage is as unhealthy as your blog makes it sound, there are organizations that can help you learn to do banking, pay bills, etc.

    Lots of people with aspergers syndrome – or any autism spectrum disorder – are independent and fully functioting memebers of society.

    You have mothered 11 children – you ARE capable, you ARE intellegent, and you CAN be more independent.

    I certainly don’t agree with many of the things you post on your blog, but you probably wouldn’t like a lot of what I post. But, you clearly have a mind of your own and are capable of independent thoughts and needs.

    • Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement and support.It really means alot. You have more confidence in me than I have in myself. 🙂

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