First Snow!

 We got our first snow! It was a light dusting and didn’t last long but it still counts! We were so excited to see the snow, in fact, that we rushed out the door to look and totally forgot to disarm the security system and the monitoring station called us but at least it’s good to know that they really ARE monitoring it and they laughed when we told them what happened! My hubby and kids also went to our town’s Santa Claus parade but I declined; it’s not my idea of “fun” to stand out in the cold and freeze my ass off, and besides, I never liked parades, anyway; I think they’re an annoying nuisance blocking off all the roads and snarling up traffic. I saw on the news as well the gov’t’s now trying to force all health care workers(nurses, doctors, hospital workers, etc.) to get the Flu vaccine whether they willingly want to or not(school kids and kids in daycare are already forced to be vaccinated) despite the fact that only like 20-30% of the population even gets it due to the side-effects and only 60% effectiveness and it shouldn’t be FORCED on people; the gov’t’s getting more and more Big Brother fascist all the time(this country sucks!) and we have less and less rights and freedom, and it saddens me as well to hear with Greece’s(one of my fave. places I’ve been to and they don’t deserve to be suffering like this) struggling economy it’s also giving rise to the Neo-Nazi movement and they’re beating up immigrants and trying to expel them, sounding alot like how the Jews were blamed for the economic troubles that propelled the Nazi Party into power during WWII, and that’s a scary thing no one wants to ever see repeated but sadly no one seems to learn from history,either, and it tends to repeat itself….

One of my Facebook friends also posted he was despondent and wanted to kill himself so I tried to talk him out of it and told him that I have been there myself and know how it feels, explaining to him about my suicide attempts and that I suffer from deep dark black depression,too, and that every day is a struggle just to survive(Albert Camus once said, “Your greatest accomplishment  each day is deciding not to commit suicide.”)but that some days are better and others are worse but that there is hope and that all things must pass; that it will get better and there’s always a new day and another chance. It’s worse when there seems like no hope and there’s no support and you feel all alone, and I told him if he ever needs someone to talk to (or just to listen) that I’m here and he can talk to me any time. He was glad to hear it and I hope it made him feel better. I just hope it was enough and that he’ll be ok and not kill himself. I just wish I could reach thru the computer and give him a hug.I hope things get better for him and that he can get thru this. I’m really worried about him and couldn’t stop thinking about him all day. I know what it’s like and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.I read as well on a Catholic site that some people are chosen as “victim souls”; that live lives of bad luck, misfortune and misery and seem to be “cursed”, just like me, so I wonder if THAT’S it? That could explain my constant bad luck and everything always going wrong all the time, perhaps, either that or I really AM just cursed or a “jinx”, or maybe I really AM being “punished” for something, but for WHAT? What could I have possibly have done that was that bad to deserve all this?

I get my MRI later today too so I’ll update you later. I bet they’ll look at the imaging and say something like this,”Well, gee, this sure explains everything right here: there’s nothing here; no brain at all!” or that it’s all shrivelled up the size of a raisin or something….