Ashley Smith.

AshleySmith This is Ashley Smith and I hope there will be justice for her, for her family,and for others like her.When she was just 15 YRS old she was JAILED just for throwing apples at a postman.(Ridiculous, yes, I know.) She was then locked away, abused, tortured,and eventually committed suicide while guards watched, refusing to intervene. Every little infraction she committed in jail( writing on the walls, demanding better treatment for prisoners, requesting clothing that fit, self harming, ripping clothing,foul language,etc.) kept being added on and she was given extra time until it ended up being 4 long YRS she was locked up, usually in solitary confinement, even up to 25 days in a row despite it not being allowed for a length for more a 5 day period in a row, and eventually transferred to an adult prison. She was also fined for every item of clothing that was ripped even though they gave her a size small despite the fact that she was a large girl and that she politely requested a change of size but it took months for them to even respond and then they refused; it seemed like they just singled her out, didn’t like her, were out to “get” her,and looked for every single little excuse to punish her.They also refused to show her any human kindness or compassion and refused to have conversations with her and she felt so alone and hopeless,like she didn’t matter.She had no voice,no advocate,no hope. She was locked away, forgotten, mistreated,lost,and disappeared into a broken system where she never should have been in the first place and then she had no way out,like Alice falling down the rabbit hole.

There were indications that Ashley was most likely emotionally disturbed and had mental issues, either before she was jailed or certainly once she was jailed, and certainly after what they did to her; it either caused it or by all means worsened it and never at any time were these issues  ever addressed or treated. She was just treated like garbage and tortured and abused and treated worse than an animal. I have seen videos on the news of prison workers holding her down, laying on top of her and restraining her, as she struggles and protests, as they forcibly inject her with drugs,and another even more disturbing video of them flying her to another correctional facility where they have her duct taped to the airplane seat and put a hood over her face and head, reminding me of the kind that terrorists put over hostages when they kidnap and execute them, that looks like a burlap sack or a pillowcase, as she writhes out in pain and tells them they’re hurting her and pleads with them to stop but of course they just ignore her. She was also known to self harm(either as a “coping” mechanism or trying to commit suicide yet was labelled as non suicidal), particularly to strangle herself with ligatures up to 5 times daily that she hid in her body cavities and the guards were eventually told to just ignore her,claiming she was “just doing it to get attention”, not to try and save her, and that’s what eventually happened on that fateful night 6 years ago when she was just 19 YRS old, after suffering 4 long YRS in this prison hell, with no hope of release, she strangled herself as guards watched outside her cell, just stood there and watched as she writhed on the floor, twitching,turning blue, and foaming at the mouth, refusing to enter her cell and try and save her as they were told not to,until it was too late, fearing they would “be disciplined” and lose their jobs…..and so they just stood there and heartlessly watched her die and let her die.Like an animal.Beyond inhuman.

So now Ashley is finally free. Finally at peace,but this is wrong on so many levels. A teen should not have been jailed for throwing apples. Someone who is mentally ill does not belong in jail but needs treatment. Someone in jail(and esp. a young person) should not be abused and tortured like that and they should not be refused human compassion and be left to die like that. This kind of thing(human rights abuses) goes on all the time in this country(it’s just well hidden and kept secret) and it’s a disgrace.There is now a legal inquiry going on into this case and I hope there will be justice as I know Ashley Smith is NOT the ONLY person this has happened to.It happens every day. Her case is just one that got leaked. I also hope that human rights advocacy groups like Amnesty International find out about it and that people can become aware and it can be stopped. This isn’t a Third World country and it’s unacceptable.Canada sucks!

Canada Sucks!

CanadaSucks(brandNew) I wish I wasn’t born in this country and want to live somewhere else. I feel betrayed by it (and the gov’t has screwed me over so many times)and want to move as far away from it as possible and never look back and in fact I would have long ago if I could only afford to move! It’s not as good or as” free” as people think or like they want you to believe. I’m embarrassed to be Canadian.This country is a disgrace.I hate it with a passion and it falls short and falls behind other countries more and more in so many ways. Let me count the ways:

– The health care system and justice system is a joke.

-Human rights violations (think the Ashley Smith case, G20 Summit, etc.)

– Sin is promoted and legalized

-Political Correctness

-One of the highest taxed countries in the world: 40/50% of our salary goes to pay income tax and sales tax is 15%

-One of the highest drunk driving rates in the world

– Big Brother policies and regulations

-Indoctrination, brainwashing and political propaganda in the schools; government training centres

-Persecution of religion and religious freedom and expression

-Prominent racist and anti-immigration attitudes

-Oppressing the Native people

-Gov’t intrusion

-Limited rights, privacy and freedom

-High cost of living

-Limited selection of goods but at a high cost compared to other places in the world

-A country of low-class beer-swilling hockey-loving redneck losers

-The poor, mentally ill, immigrants,seniors, and other vulnerable groups are marginalized

-Special interest groups get special rights at the expense of everyone else

-Large disparity between rich and poor

This is all I can think of at the moment but there is more. Just when I think it can’t possibly suck ass any more than it possibly does it somehow manages to and it keeps getting worse. My greatest dream would be to leave this fascist hell hole once and for all.


As well, the past 2 days we’ve had snow and freezing rain and today is supposed to get up to 13 C and rain, and I have another of my blinding headaches back again and even my newest 25$-a-pill headache busting pill didn’t work; it only lasted for an HR and this is the last option; the highest dose and the top-of-the-line; no more medication options left, nothing more left to try and now it feels REALLY hopeless, NOTHING works to get rid of these immobilizing headaches, so unless there’s surgery or some other medical procedure that does it’s looking pretty grim that I’ll ever find relief and the pain is so bad I curl my toes in pain and I feel it throbbing with every heartbeat. This is no life. I can’t go on like this.

Pain In The Neck!

SoreNeck For the past 5 days I’ve had REALLY a bad stiff sore neck, so bad it keeps me awake and I can hardly move it. I’d rate it 7/10 on the pain scale and NOTHING, I mean nothing, works to relieve the pain, not Tylenol, not over-the-counter muscle relaxants, not A5-35, not massaging, not the heating pad,not a soothing soak in a hot bath, and not even our “Dr. Ho’s” electric stimulation pain relief(similar to the T.E.N.S pain relief). NOTHING!! I was supposed to see my doctor today but of course with MY “luck” they called and said she’s sick and had to cancel my app’t and will call back later sometime to rebook, so now I have to wait even longer( I was hoping she could prescribe a stronger muscle relaxant or something) for relief, likely another week or so! Doesn’t it FIGURE? It HAD to be THIS week she was sick and not last week or next week! Why DO these things ALWAYS happen to ME? I just can’t BELIEVE my bad luck! I’m sure it must have something to do with my reverse cervical lordosis( reversed vertebrae in my neck) causing the pain and when I Googled it they said treatments incl. chiropractic care( I used to get for neck  and back pain and headaches until hubby’s medical plan at work stopped covering it) or physical therapy but that’s out because my hubby’s plan at work doesn’t cover it and we can’t afford it,  specialized neck exercises(which would be ok as long as someone showed me how to do it for free and I could just do it myself but not if I had to go see someone and it wasn’t covered and we had to pay out of pocket) or spinal decompression surgery.

My life is just a series of one cancellation, set-back, failure, regret, disappointment, let-down, disillusionment,misfortune, catastrophe,mishap, screw up, mistake, trauma,and bad luck after another, and what I want and what is possible are not the same thing and never will be: I’ll always have Asperger’s, I’ll always be ugly, I’ll never be thin, I’ll never be happy, I’ll never be able to leave Canada or live on my own; everything I want, need, hope,and dream is impossible and out of my reach and I’m held back and limited by my looks, my life, my bad luck,and my Asperger’s.

My hubby and mother also sneer that they’re tired of always hearing me complain how I’m unhappy I am  and how I hate my shitty life as well but if they’re tired of HEARING about it how do they think *I* feel actually having to LIVE it,and my hubby hates and resents(and blames me for,too) me as well for my perception problem and not being able to drive so he has to drive me everywhere, and says I use my breathing problem(I can’t exert myself) as just an “excuse” for “being lazy”(even though my doctor TOLD him) and hates it I’m not physically strong either so he has to “do everything” and blames me  too for not being smart  so he has to help with the kids’ homeschooling lessons(because I don’t understand it and I can’t do math at all)as well  instead of me being able to do it all on my own but I would trade with him in an instant if I could; I can’t help it, and I don’t want it and didn’t ask for it or choose it.I HATE being so deformed and limited.This is no life at all.