The Red Hippo.

RedHippo(new) This is the red hippo that my hubby found stashed in a bag under his desk when he cleaned out his pigsty office in the basement that he had hidden away for me for Valentine’s Day either for this YR, last YR, or perhaps even another YR(he can’t remember). Isn’t he cute? I just love him, he’s so adorable! I LOVE hippos!!(Note to hubby: maybe you should clean your office more often?) The 5 YR old also lost his second tooth and he just lost his first one around 2 weeks or so ago(it wasn’t too long ago) and he shocked us by calling the 9 YR old “F*ck face” when they had a fight. My hubby’s dad is also turning 80 and they’re giving him this big surprise party so I hope the poor old guy doesn’t end up with a heart attack!

My mother also hit me with the fridge door while I was in the kitchen throwing garbage away under the sink and when I said,”Hey!” only THEN did she say “Excuse me!”( although in a snarky sarcastic tone) yet she STILL hit me again, and then she snapped,”Why do *I* always have to wait for YOU?” and I told her, “Because *I* WAS here FIRST!” and as always when she went to the store she didn’t read labels and she got the wrong thing….and then when I got mad she blamed ME, so somehow it’s not HER fault for getting the wrong thing but MINE for mentioning it! She never takes any responsibility for anything and always blames someone else(usually me) and always somehow manages to “turn” everything around around onto me! I’m sick of always being being blamed for everything all the time and always being treated like dirt yet when I bring it up it’s MY fault and I’M “mean” to HER for saying it for how it is or for defending myself!

Every time I ask my hubby to do something for the 9 YR old he also sneers,”I’m not going to ‘jump’ just because __________ wants something!” He doesn’t like her because she loves me the most and resents that we’re so close(just like my mother does and she hates her,too) and I can be silly and goofy and have fun with her like I can’t with anyone else; we’re soul mates and bosom buddies and she’s the girl that I’ve always wanted. I’m closer to her than I’ve ever been to anyone else and my mother is furious that she hasn’t been able to turn her against me like she has with the other kids as well(and hates it that someone actually loves me), but she is the only light in my dark world and the only joy in my life. She is the one thing that keeps me going. One of her online friends on a live online game also said them and their sister get “whipped” by their parents and it concerned me so I had her ask them if they’ve told a teacher and they said they did but that they didn’t care so then I started to wonder….and then they said the teacher whips them,too,and that their friend gets whipped as well so then I didn’t believe it and  now think they’re just making it up but at first it concerned me but I’m not nosey and not the type of person to report people on mere accusations without proof and destroy their life, either,and you can’t believe everything you see online and in the end it looked like they were just telling stories.

My hubby also blamed me that I can’t wake up the 18 YR old even though he is impossible to wake up. I try so many times and keep going up to wake him up but he just won’t wake up and keeps going back to sleep but he blames me and says I “Just give up too easily” and I hate it he always does that; always twists it around and turns everything around back onto me and blames me just like my mother does, but I don’t need him calling me “whore”, “bitch”, “c*nt”, etc. either just because I’m trying to wake him up. I don’t need that, I really don’t; I’m tired of always being insulted,disrespected, and being called vile names, and I also don’t need to be told everything’s my fault all the time either and to always be blamed for everything. I honestly don’t know why I even bother.I put up with this shit day in and day out and live with this shit every day and it’s just beaten me down.

I hate my life.