Everything.

HateEveryone I hate everything in my life.

EVERYTHING.

There’s nothing in my life that I like.

NOTHING. Nothing at all.

Do you know what it’s like to live a life that you absolutely hate, that makes you completely miserable, that you hate everything about,and yet are powerless and helpless to ever escape? Where you have no hope of improvement,and where the life you want will always be out of your reach due to your limitations and lack of finances? Day in and day out I eke out this miserable existance living this life where I hate and regret everything, wishing I could be someone else and have someone else’s life even though I know there’s no way out until I’m dead.

It’s a form of self-abuse.

I hate myself. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I feel. I hate my family. I hate where I live( this house, this town, this country). I am in an unhappy loveless marriage. I don’t even like some of my kids and  now wish I never even had kids.(It reminds me of that saying my mother always said,”Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it!”) I hate it that I will always be limited and held back by Asperger’s and Social Phobia and will never be normal or have a normal life like other people. I hate it that I will never be able to afford to move back to the city where I was happy.I hate it I am always cursed with bad luck and endless traumas that have damaged me emotionally beyond repair.I hate the way I am always mistreated, even by my own family.

There’s nothing in my life that I like, that I don’t regret, or that makes me happy.I hate everything about myself and my life.

You can’t even imagine how that makes me feel.

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As well, I heard on the news that this province will now be the 7 th (out of 10) to soon ban tanning beds for people under age 18 (trying to lessen skin cancer) as the Big Brother Nanny State continues to ban, regulate,and control everything and intrude into our lives once again,(what will they do next? Try and ban the SUN,too?) and the gov’t tried to make it mandatory that English be taught in schools in Quebec at least from grade 6 but the teacher’s unions and the Parti Quebecois refused and their excuse is that it would “take away from”and “negatively affect” their other subjects,  yet the rest of us still have French forced down OUR throats and we still have to have to take so many YRS of it  in school ( I took it for 8 YRS  in school myself) so I guess it doesn’t work both ways, and yet more special rights for Quebec AGAIN, and they said that the cell phone rates in this country are also the highest in the world,too, but that we also get the worst service and the least competition! It figures, but I’m NOT surprised, and yet another way Canada SUCKS! I hate this country so much!!

On top of that, we’re so short of $$$$ now,too, that we don’t have any extra left over now either for toilet cleaner, or room deoderizer, etc. or anything extra like that anymore, now; it all goes for food and bills.Being poor really sucks.