Schizophrenia.

Schizophrezia I read a news report about a 23 YR old with schizophrenia that killed himself by jumping off a bridge, only it was from his parents’ perspective and how he was tormented for YRS and suicide was the only way to make it stop and how despite being on medication the mental health system(which is sadly lacking in this country) failed him and he suffered hallucinations and hearing voices, and even thought the birds chirping in the trees were conspiring against him. It was a sad thing to read; to be a prisoner of your own mind, and it reminded me of a family I knew at our old church a few YRS ago who’s son also had it and who also committed suicide in his early 20’s as well shortly after he returned home from missionary work. It commonly starts to appear in the late teen YRS to the early 20’s and usually shows up when you’re in university and tends to be genetic.

I also remember back in 1988 I had 2 friends who had schizophrenia as well, D and G. D was a clean-cut cultured, proper Preppy, and so refined that he even ate pizza with a knife and fork,and who kept a spotless apartment and lived on his own and worked as a janitor. I thought it odd,however, that the only food he had was a box of rice and a box of Cheerios in his cupboard, but then again for a bachelor maybe it wasn’t so unusual. He also said I was the first Catholic that he’d ever met which I found unbelievable, so I brought him with me to church once, which he found to be both fascinating and confusing.He told me the most disturbing story I have ever heard,too: that when his mother was a teen she was raped and got pregnant and when her baby was born she injected it with insulin(she was diabetic) and killed it. I always wondered why he’d ever  tell someone that and it was always something that I wished I’d never been told.At the time I never knew he even  had schizophrenia; whether he hadn’t yet been diagnosed and didn’t yet know himself or he chose not to disclose it to me, I don’t know. I only found out YRS later, but I had no idea and was surprised to find out later.

G was an ex drug addict who lived in a rooming house associated with a treatment centre for addicts and people with mental illnesses and was on disability and couldn’t work due to his medications that made him feel sleepy and “flat” that he took for his schizophrenia. I never would have known that he had it(he was the kindest, gentlest, most soft-spoken guy you’d ever meet) except that he told me that he did, and I felt honoured that he could confide something so personal to me. He didn’t have much $$$ so we pretty much just hung out at his place with his room mates and watched TV and told gross jokes, or rode our bikes around my neighbourhood. Life was so simple then, and I had no idea that the best part of my life would soon end and that the worst (and the worst traumas,and that being molested and bullied as a child would be nothing compared to what lay ahead)would soon come in just 2  more YRS. It didn’t make a difference to me that he(or D) had schizophrenia; it was just a part of who they were,and I just found out recently thru a mutual friend(that I re-connected with on Facebook) that G moved back to his small hometown and is engaged to his on-again,off-again old girlfriend, but that poor D isn’t doing well now; that his disease has worsened dramatically and he’s in bad shape. That makes me sad as he’s a nice guy and doesn’t deserve this at all.

It’s also interesting I found out that the majority of adults with Asperger’s(like me) aren’t formally diagnosed but rather discover it later in life either thru their own observations, by that of others, or thru the diagnosis of their own children(as it’s inherited and runs in families), only then do they realize they have it and then it all makes sense and explains their life-long struggles; like finding the missing pieces to a puzzle, and we also had 2 kids with severe autism(along with other multiple and severe handicaps as well which were diagnosed) that are no longer with us; that we lost several YRS ago, along with relatives on BOTH sides of my family AND in my hubby’s family on the autism spectrum as well, so my kids and I got a DOUBLE  hit of it so I guess we never really had a chance.