NikeThe 15 YR old was complaining

recently that he wanted the expensive Nike running shoes but all we can afford is the cheap WalMart special. It hurts and embarrasses me that now the kids are older they want the more expensive things and we can no longer afford it and all we can afford now  is to buy shoes at WalMart and winter boots at the used second-hand store,and clothes we get at either the second-hand store or donated from people at church or from neighbours. It’s esp. hard as we weren’t always like this, and, in fact, YRS ago we didn’t even worry about $$$. When we lived in the city and the kids were younger I even used to go to the mall every week, buy an outfit every time I went shopping,and buy the kids clothes at the upscale children’s boutiques where babies’ outfits started at 100$ each and in fact I was such a good customer in one of the swanky shops that the owner even came over to my HOUSE to show me their latest selections to choose from! Those days are long gone now,and due to the bad economy and financial changes we are now struggling, and barely just make it now. I can identify with St. Paul in the Bible who said he knows what it’s like to have plenty and knows what it’s like to have little. It’s a reversal of fortune.

I am now agreeing with our oldest, 18 ,and 15 YR olds who have all told me repeatedly that I shouldn’t have had all those kids if we can’t support them. In hindsight maybe it wasn’t such a good idea  knowing our financial situation now even though at the time we had no problem (but no one can predict the future, either.) We don’t believe in birth control though due to our religious and pro-life beliefs but I’ve been celibate now for the past 6 YRS(ever since we had our youngest child) which isn’t too difficult  since my hubby and I don’t get along,anyway, so it’s no longer an issue, but I guess it’s too late now. Perhaps 2-3 kids would have been more manageable(given our current financial situation) and I know exactly which ones I’d choose and  some I wish I hadn’t(in actual fact, looking back I’d have been  better off staying single and not even having kids at all), but what can we do now? It’s just hard when the kids resent us for being poor now and wishing they had the life we used to(so do I) and even our oldest when he was away at university he blamed us for being poor and not being able to send him more $$$$ as well. It’s hard when the kids want a Nike world but are forced to live in a WalMart one. It makes me feel like we failed them. We live substandard inferior lives now.


As well, the 14 YR old came back after 3 WKS away at camp and she had lots of fun(and is nice and tanned,too) but the 15 and 17 YR olds are only half-way and still have 3 more weeks left, my hubby’s nephew shaved his head wanting to look like his uncle who has a “Friar Tuck” hairstyle: bald in the middle and hair only on the sides,so they had to shave him all the way and give him a “Buzz” cut to fix it, and my hubby thinks I’m incompetent (he sneers,”YOU’RE the adult!”)because I can’t handle the kids, esp. disciplining the 6 YR old,and I always have to call him but they don’t listen to me or do what I say because I’m always being over-ruled and undermined by him and my mother so I don’t have any authority.

I also heard on the news that Liberal leader Justin Trudeau wants to legalize marijuana which is crazy,and ONE Trudeau( his father, former PM Pierre Trudeau) in a life time is enough(he legalized abortion and now his son wants to legalize marijuana,too!) but what do you expect from a Liberal though? Anything goes,and they don’t have any morals, ethics, or values,and smoking and alcohol is bad enough and now they want to legalize marijuana as well? Studies also show that marijuana use leads to use of harder and even more dangerous drugs, such as cocaine and heroin. Any kind of sin and the Liberals will promote,encourage,and try to legalize it! I hope this will ruin any chance of the Liberals ever being elected, and 3 million people in this country worry where their next meal is coming from as well( 1 million of those children) with 300 000 visiting foodbanks a month in this province alone and this is unacceptable; what is this,anyway, a Third World country? There is such a big gap between rich and poor that there’s hardly even a middle class left anymore,and even though it’s not rich people’s fault that poor people exist it IS a real problem and something needs to be done, and officials even arrested a Pakistani asylum seeker in the ER as she was having a heart attack and told her she was being deported the next day,too,until her cardiologist told them anyone who’s had a heart attack can’t fly for at least 6 weeks. I mean, how heartless, callous, and cruel can they possibly BE,anyway? This country just sucks. I  just HATE it with a passion! I need to find a new place to live.