We have these cheddar and sour cream chips that no one likes (except me) and I know how they feel; they’re just like me: everyone hates them. That’s me, I’m cheddar and sour cream, the one that no one likes. I’ve always been the one that’s been hated, bullied, taunted, ostracized, picked on, rejected, ridiculed, abused,and victimized. Due to my unfortunate looks and Asperger’s Syndrome I’ve always been the one without a gym or lab partner, the one without friends, the one off on my own, the one eating lunch by myself, the one without a date, the one boys never asked out or asked to dance, the scapegoat, the one singled out for ridicule, the last one picked for teams in gym class, etc. You get the idea. Being fat, ugly, stupid, AND having Asperger’s is a combination and an identity so absurd and outrageous it’s a cosmic joke of epic proportions and hitting the jackpot of incredibly bad odds and extreme unfortunate bad luck all in one. My life is so defeating and disempowering I keep hoping for bright sunny days but all I usually get are dark cloudy rainy ones. I’m the bag of cheddar and sour cream chips that gets left behind on the clearance rack,an odd combination, not liked,not wanted, never chosen.
As well, with my mother away( and I’m here doing all the work myself instead of the 2 of us dividing the workload) everyone resents I make them be more self-sufficient, such as everyone do their own dishes, and my hubby, for example, had to set his own TV show to record(his redneck wrestling) and wondered why it hadn’t been set (I refuse to record redneck things, and everyone has to record their own stuff,anyway) and he said my mother always set it FOR him(even though the kids and I set OUR own shows ourselves) and when I said,”What IS she, your slave?” he goes, “Yes!” and has to put his own laundry away( I DO the laundry but then everyone has to get their own clean clothes out of the basket and put their own stuff away) even though he’s a grown man and perfectly capable of programming his own shows and putting his laundry away, and the work itself isn’t what’s overwhelming( I normally cook breakfast and lunch anyway and my mother does dinner, now I just have to do dinner,too, for example); it’s their ATTITUDE,and their attitude towards it and towards me( the 19 YR old snorted to me, “YOU actually cooked food?”) THAT’S what I’m having a problem with! The belittling way they treat me is always the problem.
My hubby also got a letter from the IRS about his American stocks he’s invested in; he has to sign a statement that he’s not an American citizen so they won’t come after him; they suck THAT much that they’re even coming after foreigners now,TOO? In any case, he’s NOT American and doesn’t even live in USA so they can’t bother him anyway, but what assholes(who do they think they ARE,anyway?) and I laughed seeing someone Tweet on Twitter about Dancing With The Stars that “Rednecks have it on speed dial”(I guess viewers have to call in to vote or something?) as they’re right; only losers would watch that lame show, and my friend in Ireland has her brain surgery later today to remove her tumour and it’s a 5 HR procedure(and she’ll stay in the hospital for 4 days) but I won’t hear for awhile though as she’s 5 HRS ahead of us but she’s in my thoughts and prayers.