That Day.

CancerSucks I’ll never forget That Day, that day 8 YRS ago ( 9 YRS ago in Feb.) when our then 7 YR old was diagnosed with leukemia. I’d had a nagging feeling that he had it(despite not having the classic symptoms) which I think was a “whispering” from God and had taken him to the ER and everything from that ill-fated day remains frozen in my memory; the sounds, the smells, everything in the rooms, just imprinted into my memory,everything.I can even remember what I wore that day: my pink and grey shirt and jeans with the rips in the knees! It’s like everything was moving in slow motion and then frozen in time.

I remember as the triage nurse threw away the oxygen sat monitor as it wasn’t picking up a reading, how at first she thought it wasn’t working,but when the new one she’d attached on also wasn’t picking up a reading she got this serious look on her face and yelled loudly to the doctor in the back room and we were quickly ushered in and the doctor listened to his heart and all of a sudden became very quiet,serious, and very concerned very quickly and then all hell broke loose with a dozen people rushing about poking and prodding him, taking blood, x-rays, samples, etc. and I knew something was very, very wrong. That was the defining moment and I got that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach of dread, of raw fear.They even called in the pediatrician(the only one  the hospital had) to come in on his day off, and when the blood work came back he’d explained all of the blood counts were so critically low(he should have been dead!) it could only be one of two things: either severe anemia or leukemia.

We had to take an ambulance to the teaching hospital in the nearest city an HR away for a bone-marrow biopsy and the specialist who did it was on her way home but they called ahead and had her wait for us. I went in the ambulance with him, along with a nurse and the 2 paramedics. (I sat up at the front with the driver and my hubby followed behind us in the van). I remember one of the paramedics trying to reassure me something similar happened to his daughter and she was fine and hopefully our son would be,too. He was even started a blood transfusion right there in the ambulance because it was so critical it couldn’t wait. They did the biopsy without sedation(I’ll never forget his screams; it goes right into the hip bone) as there just wasn’t any time and they rushed the results to take HRS instead of days as time was running out,and just the look on the pediatric oncologist’s face was enough to tell me what they found before he even told me; just the sad, hang-dog  expression told me all I needed to know: it WAS leukemia afterall, and he had 3 days or less  to live.(The next day the doctor at the ER from the other hospital even called to find out what the diagnosis was and her sad response, “Oh, no!”) It was very dire and he had to start treatment right away and so we began a nightmare(as well as my PTSD which lasted for 9 months due to the trauma) twice a week for 2 1/2 YRS(and he almost died a few times) but he survived; we all did.

I’ll never forget that day. It’s as clear as if it were yesterday.It changed our lives forever and life would never be the same again. One of many traumas and burned into my mind forever.

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As well, our oldest in Calgary has had a bone-chilling -40 C temps for the past 6 days or so and all our snow’s gone, I’m listening to Cuban music and it’s so lively it  makes me feel like dancing around the room if only I had the energy( the mind is willing but the body won’t co-operate), my mother’s friend told her she has a feeling that she doesn’t think she’ll survive her upcoming hernia surgery soon even though she got thru her recent heart surgery(which is alot more risky) and thinks she’ll die, Toronto Mayor Ford’s been exposed(by redacted police wiretaps ) in recent documents now as not only doing cocaine but also heroin and despite denying he knew there was that infamous tape of him smoking crack in reality he even tried to buy it back from the gang-bangers who had it(I guess to destroy the evidence against him); he just keeps lying and denying and making it even worse for himself, and I saw in the news as well there’s a high rate of suicide among immigrants in this country as they’re despondant, they find it’s NOT so wonderful here like they’ve been told; they’ve been lied to and once they come here they find in reality  it sucks and they hate it and are miserable, discriminated against, can’t find jobs, and live in poverty and are disillusioned and depressed. I agree! I hate it here,too! (I wish *I* could get deported!)It also said their health was better BEFORE they came here(and even advised prospective immigrants to have all their dental work done first, before they come here as it’s not covered here, and warned them of the long waits for medical care) and deteriorates once they’re here, and they’re so stressed, because it sucks so much here!

I also heard car ads on the American radio station and was shocked car payments for a Hyundai are only 129$ a month! Here the average cost for monthly car payments are between 400$- 500$ a month! We really ARE always getting over-charged for everything all the time and getting ripped off! I swear, I HATE this country so MUCH! I also sent a message to a Facebook friend who’d de-friended me a couple of YRS ago; I’d just wanted to let her know that every time I shave my head I still  think of her because she was the one that inspired me and first gave me the courage to completely shave my head bald 2-3 YRS ago but I never expected her to reply but she DID,and she said she really appreciated my kind words and said that she just went thru a massive  friend “cleaning” a couple of YRS ago deleting lots of people and I just happened to get caught up in it but that it wasn’t anything personal and she added me again and we reconnected!