Our Christmas.

BronzeHippo Christmas started OFF good(and then quickly went downhill and went really bad afterwards): first of all THIS is the awesome present I got from my hubby( what was in the mystery package that arrived 3 days ago): a bronze hippo statue! It’s the size of a Chihuahua and weighs about 3 pounds or so and is one of the best gifts that I ever got, so I ended up getting a hippo like I wanted for Christmas( and it snowed,too!) afterall, in fact, I got TWO!! All my mother gave me(only because she was obligated to) was a small box of 6 chocolates. I got my hubby in return a  large frame print print copy of the first issue of  the Spiderman comic to hang on his office wall; it’s so big it’s the width if you spread your arms out all the way across. Everyone was happy with their gifts although they got less this YR as $$$ is tight, and a game for the kids we didn’t have any batteries for so my hubby had to rush out to the drug store( the only place that was open) and get some,and the 6 YR old was frustrated trying to assemble his K’nex so my hubby ended up doing it for him and the 10 and 12 YR olds had a hard time doing their looming/weaving kit as well and I couldn’t help them as I can’t understand or follow instructions or assemble anything.

For dinner we also had 5 turkeys, 3 hams, stuffing, potatoes, peas, corn, buns, gravy, cranberry sauce, and 4 home-made pumpkin pies, and of course *I* got the Christmas cracker that DIDN’T have the prize inside( it figures) and my hubby yelled “Shut UP!” to me when I told him we needed him to help with the mashed potatoes and he refused to stop playing his video game to come and help( so he gives me a nice gift but still treats me like dirt) and as always him and the kids ruined dinner just like I knew they would(and like they always do) by being loud, rude, uncultured,and uncivilized, and wouldn’t stop even after repeated warnings and when I told them to behave and act civilized and have proper manners at the table the 19 YR old called ME “Scrooge” and “Grinch” and said *I* “ruined” Christmas! I’m so sick of this and it happens on EVERY holiday and I don’t know what to do; should we just NOT have big dinners at the diningroom anymore or should I just not partake anymore(and just eat on my own) and no longer subject myself to their obnoxious redneck antics? My hubby encourages it,too( where do you think they GOT it from?) and they ruin holiday dinners for me all the time. Then afterwards it was my job to clean up the table. What joy, what fun, nothing but work. Christmas is nothing but a whole lot of preparation and work and clean up.

Our Internet was down for awhile as well, and the boys had their jiu-jitsu mat covering the heating vent in the floor and refused to take it off even when I told them so I moved it off and then the 19 YR old KICKED me when I moved it, and once he’d knocked me over down to the ground kept kicking and hitting me so I hit him back to get him off me and to shield and defend myself(and the 10 YR old ran in screaming, “Leave her alone! Don’t hurt her!” trying to pull him off me) and then he used his jiu-jitsu moves on me to restrain me,and my mother and hubby didn’t even care(they probably think I “deserve” it because they don’t like me,either,and abuse me,too) and I’m so shaken by it I was trembling, shaking and crying and my mother snickered,”Act your AGE! Why do you always have to CRY all the time?” but I’m so sick and tired of always BEING abused, bullied, picked on, ganged up on, victimized,and blamed,and now even beaten up by my own kids,TOO? My life is shit.

Christmas was ruined. My LIFE is ruined.

I hate my family. I wish I was dead and I feel so alone. How can I EVER escape this misery?