50 th Anniversary.

Beatles(new) It was exactly 50 YRS ago TODAY that The Beatles first performed on The Ed Sullivan Show, effectively launching their career. I wasn’t even BORN yet( not until 3 YRS later) but this would be the beginning of an amazing career that would even not only outlive the band, but it’s members as well( now only 2 out of the 4 are alive). They would go on to become the greatest band of all time, with music that would endure for generations, timeless music that remains,and will always remain, classic. I became a Beatles fan when I was just 12 or 13 YRS old and even had a crush on Paul McCartney for many YRS even though he’s old enough to be my FATHER( gross, I know) and I even had many of the original albums, incl. the “Blue Album” with it’s see-thru blue vinyl but I lost them all 18 YRS ago when we had the fire yet if I still had them today I bet they would be worth quite alot! I’m still a Beatles fan today( although my kids think their music’s “gay” but what can THEY say about gay music when THEY like crap like Katy Perry and Taylor Swift? They just DON’T know GOOD music when they hear it!)



LessThan I read something a couple of days ago about how Satan tries to discourage us by diminishing us and making us feel less. Less than. Less than others, less than we are, less than what God has made us to be,less than we can be, and it got me thinking: I’ve felt diminished and less than my entire LIFE! Not only less compared to others but less compared to myself as well, such as when my own mother told me that she “thought more of me when I was thin than when I was fat” and telling me that she “never loved” me, and that she loves my second-oldest because she’s “not like” me, and now wishing I was thin like I used to be and young like I once was. I’ve always come short compared to others as well: everyone else is smarter than me, thinner than me, better-looking than me, more successful than me, happier than me,  have more $$$ than me,has better luck than me, don’t struggle in life as much as me, has a family that treats them better than mine does to me, and so on and so on and so it goes. It’s just a fact that I always come last compared to others and have no “redeeming” qualities, am not a “winner”, have never been pretty or popular, and some things will never change: I’m STILL(and will always be) that bullied girl in Jr. High with no self-esteem that no one likes and that doesn’t fit in,being told how ugly, stupid, worthless,and useless I am.. I will always be awkward ,neurotic, uneasy, ostracized,and a failure. Even my own hubby and kids have written me off and washed their hands of me. I’m like Charlie Brown; a born loser as they say. I don’t need Satan to diminish me; I have my life to do that for me.

As well, now *I* have the cold and I hope I don’t have a cough for my gastroscopy Thursday for fear they’ll cancel it although I’d suppose when I’m sedated that would suppress the cough reflex so maybe it’ll still be ok regardless,  and our second-oldest in Japan said they got SNOW(which is rare!) and lots,too, like 25 cm or so ( they mentioned it on the news as well) and the 14 YR old’s friend was over after not for a week(she was grounded) and she said her oldest sister has a CRUSH on our 17 YR old(who’s also a girl!) which unsettles me greatly and is just disturbing; it just really freaks me out to hear that another GIRL is lusting after my DAUGHTER, and we’re switching Internet providers( they come on Friday to install it) and on the phone they asked my hubby when he was born and when he said, ” ’63” they asked, “Is that 1863 or 1963?” and he goes, “Well, I’m not 150 YRS old!” I just can’t BELIEVE how STUPID some people are! We just died laughing and I imitated shooting myself  in the head with my hand and falling over at the sheer stupidity of it! I also listened to Blues music for HRS and I remember YRS ago when I was in my 20’s telling my doctor I was at a Blues concert she said I “wasn’t ‘old enough’ to appreciate the Blues”( I didn’t know you had to be a certain age?) but I’ve always had good taste in music though( and I’ve never liked pussy Pop music or redneck country music, for example) and with me loving the Blues and Reggae as much as I do I wonder if I was just born the wrong colour? Maybe there’s really actually a black person inside trying to get out?