Brat Enabling.

Brat(new) The 6 YR old is a colossal brat mainly due to the fact that my mother and hubby enable him, never tell him “no”, let him always have his own way, let him do whatever he wants, don’t make him follow the rules, over-rule, undermine and sabotage MY discipline with him, and encourage him to be a brat. They’re created a monster and then they wonder WHY *I* get so mad. Because I’m the only one that DOES discipline him they then accuse ME of “hating” him, always “picking on” him, always punishing him(because he’s always being so bad) never letting him get away with anything, being “mean” to him(because I DO punish him) and always “on his back” and my mother’s excuse for GIVING him special “allowances” and special rights are “everyone’s an individual” ( yet I’m still fair and have the SAME rules for everyone) and that “the youngest gets away with more”, always having some excuse for him why he’s so bad and why he doesn’t have to follow the same rules as the other kids,and why he’s never punished(I’d take away his video game for a day, for example) for the same thing anyone else would be. One example of how things are different for him is he threw HIS food on the ground( a snack cake which was still in the package) had a raging meltdown and refused to pick it up and eat it so my hubby ate it instead and my mother soothed him and gave him something else, but anyone ELSE would have to pick it up and eat it, no substitutes.How will he ever learn that way? He also yells at my hubby, ” Shut up!I HATE you! DIE! I want to KILL you! BURN in a FIRE!” and he doesn’t even say anything but he wouldn’t let any of the other kids talk to him like that!

I know he’s disturbed to be THIS bad at age 6(none of the other kids were ever like this or this bad) and shudder to think what he’ll be like as he gets older; how out of control and violent he’ll be as a  teen! Now even just the slightest little thing sets him off into a full-blown Defcon 1 full-nuclear tantrum; you just say the wrong thing or look at him the wrong way, for example, and he rages, kicks, screams, hits, thrashes, the whole thing, and it lasts forever and he does it every time he doesn’t get his way. He’s so bad he hasn’t been able to go to Bible camp yet with the other kids because he just doesn’t behave and will tantrum and hit the other kids. It really concerns me but my mother and hubby enable him, coddle him, cater to him, and encourage it by always giving in to him and over turning me when I do try to set structure and discipline for him and by making me the bad guy for doing it. I’m all alone here. They’ve created an obnoxious brat the other kids don’t want to be around. My mother also tells me I’m a bad mother(what can SHE say?) so I reply, “I learned it from the BEST!” and my whole life she kept telling me to lower my standards and I’ve always had to settle in life so now I’m miserable and then she blames me for always settling and not waiting,too, so somehow it’s still always MY fault and I can never “win!” I’m also always trying to run away from myself and disappear. I hate myself , my family,and my life.

As well, the 16 YR old renewed his health card, our second-oldest’s friend’s wedding got cancelled so she might not be coming up to visit in the summer( she was coming for the wedding) afterall as it’s expensive airfare from Japan, and 4 of the kids are going on a Cadets trip during the week in March Break to USA,too; to Washington D.C and Virginia and I was in D.C briefly once; my flight connection was re-routed there due to weather only they didn’t tell us where so on the train connecting terminals I asked the guy sitting beside me what city I was in and he told me….and looked at me like I was insane!I also had a dream I was with an Australian guy and I kept having him talk so I could keep hearing his cool accent but in reality guys like THAT don’t even LOOK at girls like me; fat, ugly girls with Asperger’s don’t exactly attract guys,  and now the provincial Liberal gov’t has declared war on obesity,too, targeting fat people, so what next? Coming after ugly people? Dumb people? Euthanize the handicapped? What?  Sounds like Nazi eugenics, going after anyone society deems to be inferior, imperfect and undesirable even though none of us can help being what we are.

My hubby also debated with me about a certain bridge in town that was closed for repair; he didn’t believe me even though I heard it on the radio and he insisted that particular bridge was in another town even though I think the news knows more than HE does and it really bugs me; he always thinks he knows everything and that he’s smarter than everyone else; he’s just so arrogant and thinks he’s so great and  it really pisses me off and he thinks I don’t know anything and never believes anything I say or takes anything I say seriously,and he’s always telling me stuff about loser sports(just to annoy me) even though I’m not a redneck, and  he knows I hate it , couldn’t care less and don’t want to hear it, and excuses I “should know what goes on in the world” ( but I do; that’s why I watch the news) and I told HIM, “”I don’t need to know what goes on in the REDNECK world; I’m perfectly happy to remain blissfully ignorant!” I’m so unhappy in my life with him and I wish I knew what it was like to be loved and held by a man that loves me….instead of by a man that merely tolerates me, puts up with me, dismisses me, settled for me, couldn’t do any better than me,demeans me, belittles me, is condescending to me, talks down to me, and devalues me.