Hearing Test, Part 2.

Ear I went to get my hearing checked…again….and I couldn’t….again…STILL plugged up with too much ear wax! The lady looked in with her light and said it WAS softer( last WK it was hard) since I had been putting drops of baby oil in every night so she shoved this long thing down and tried to pull it out…..except with my abnormally small ear canals( yet another defect I have typical of Marfan Syndrome; I have many of them) it hurt like HELL and I was CRYING; it felt like she was jamming a math compass into my ear drums! She was surprised and said I have “sensitive” ears and wasn’t able to get the wax out…and told me to repeat the same AGAIN nightly for another WK and come back AGAIN next WK to try again( as the hearing test isn’t accurate if my ears are plugged up with wax) although she highly suspects it’s the wax *causing* my hearing loss! So I’m right back where I started and sick and tired of ALWAYS being let down and disappointed(AND of being deformed; it makes me hate myself even more and complicates my life) and this is yet something else that went wrong in a really  shitty week, and I just knew something else would as bad things always happen in threes….first our Internet was down a few days( from 10 am Monday until 5 pm Wednesday) and then my weekly magazines( my only pleasure in life) didn’t come this WK….and now this. So, I also got this special ear wax flushing kit at the drug store that’s supposed to “melt” away and flush out ear wax and I’ll try yet for a third time next WK but I doubt I’ll be able to get it then, either, because things just  never work out for me or go the way they’re supposed to and with my luck the wax will be stuck there forever and it’ll just be something I’ll have to live with, hearing loss and all. Now from all the poking  my ears still hurt,too,like when it’s infected, and also feel like when you dive under really deep water and feel like you have water in your ear and it’s plugged(and I can hardly hear at all out of my right ear now at all), plus when your ears hurt flying( I get it REALLY bad with my narrow ear canals, esp. upon  landing) with the pressure and I keep hearing a “whoosh!” sound in my right ear as well. The lady also said she immigrated from Ukraine when she was 45…so it gives ME hope, too, that it’s still not too “late” for ME to to be able to get out of THIS shit hole as well, if only I had the $$$ to move…I would have YRS ago if I could afford it!

As well, the 19 YR old barged into my RM at night when I was asleep and woke me up to ask me something about his passport, scaring the beejesus out of me; he scared the shit out of me and I was so dazed and disoriented I thought at first he was a prowler, and him and the oldest keep making fun of me too about watching TV, about my commentaries over the news reports, and my having had anti-depressents in the past that I “do drugs” and that it’s “not good” for me, etc. even though it WAS, I needed it and it really helped me; it’s like a diabetic needs insulin to survive and to feel better and I KNOW it’s time I need something again now, and my hubby’s work sent him this really cool globe in the mail as a thank you gift for being such a valued employee and he checked online the cost and he found it: 150 Euros which would run somewhere around 300 $ or so give-or-take, the second-oldest’s credit card got hacked and she knows it did due to the charges on it since she lives in Japan now and the stores that were charged to it don’t exist there but are only here so the bank was aware of it and cancelled it and informed her, and I saw on the news the Orthodox Jewish group Lev Tahor that fled the country to escape religious persecution here has now applied for asylum and refugee status in Guatemala and I hope they GET it,too, and someone actually had the nerve to come up onto our front veranda and stole the recycling out of our blue boxes on our porch; they really DO steal *EVERYTHING* here and I hate the dumb rednecks in this hick-ass town! I have GOT to get OUT of here! I just hate this place so much!