“Ketchup” Post.

KetchupJune Catching up on things:



– The 11 YR old casually asked me, “What does ‘ masturbating’ mean?” and after I stopped choking I asked her, “Where did you HEAR that?” and she told me the 16 YR old!


– The 11 YR old was swatting a bug away and accidently punched me hard in the nose and it really hurt and at first I even wondered if it was maybe even broken. She also made a new friend with a 10 YR old girl that lives just 2 houses over.


– When I’m outside tanning I fantasize I’m back in the Caribbean at the beach, laying on the sand, with palm trees swaying nearby, listening to the seagulls and the ocean waves.


– For a few seconds when I heard a song on the radio it sounded like a foreign language I didn’t recognize and was confused not recognizing it trying to figure out what language it was….so I waiting a few more seconds and then realized it was English! I wonder if *I* might have had a mini-stroke like my mother did? Episodes like that can often be subtle signs….



– I saw a cat with 2 tails!

– I got my hearing aids calibrated and turned up louder and I have more ear wax build up in my right ear again( the left ear is ok) so have to clean with hydrogen peroxide for a few days to flush it out like before) and the lady noticed my suntan and asked if I had been away on vacation.

– I went to Walmart the other day and I’ve never seen so many rednecks all at once together at the same place all at the same time except for in this town  before and I overheard a guy telling his friend about his son’s botched leg surgery here; how they “cut the wrong thing” and he had to be transferred to a hospital elsewhere and have it redone right and the doctor there phoned up the quack here and asked him where he got his medical license from.

– I heard the lady next door call her cat “Lucifer” so now I wonder if they’re Satanists and the 15 YR old goes, “Oh, that’s a cool name!” and I told her, “No, it’s NOT! It’s another name for Satan!” and then she looks horrified and shocked and gasps, “Oh!” and the 11 YR old said we should rename the 7 YR old Lucifer( because he’s a little devil)

– I had my recurring dream again that we move back to my old house in Toronto only this time it had been changed and wasn’t how I remember it; they’d changed the windows and the wallpaper and I was mad. I really miss the city though and wish we could afford to move back. I also had a dream about a giant brown horse that ran down our street and came up on our veranda and it was so huge it’s knees went up to the 11 YR old’s head!

– I have cramps and diarrhrea so bad my arse feels like it’s on FIRE and it’s even *bleeding* and it hurts so much I can hardly even sit down.

– The 16 YR old brought back this virus from youth group camp a couple of weeks ago and it’s making it’s way thru the house and we’ve now dubbed it, “The ( his name) Plague.”