The Unopened Gifts.

Gift We still have 3 unopened gifts left over from Christmas, 3 of the free food calendars we got at the grocery store. This YR we’re so short of $$$$ we can’t afford to buy the kids a calender each for their room as they cost close to 20$ each so all we could get are the free ones at the grocery store and the bank but they don’t want them so when they knew what it was they didn’t even bother opening it and the gifts are still laying unopened on the coffee table in the livingroom. That’s how I feel in life ,too, just like those unopened gifts: unwanted and just left behind, never to be opened, not worth the bother,just abandoned and alone. As well, I decided to start growing my hair out as after 10 YRS of being bald I want a change but I’ll still have really ultra short hair as short hair looks best on me and it’s easier to maintain.Funny as well as just  a few days after I decided it Patti mentioned how I could “fix myself up” and one thing was to grow hair and she said she could give me a make over, and it hurts when she talks about how when she was young she used to be thin, blonde,and pretty,too, because I NEVER was; I’ve *ALWAYS* been ugly and it almost feels like she’s rubbing it in and when she bemoans about having “lost” it now all I can think of is at least she did HAVE it; I never did. She also forgot my birthday which hurt and she said she doesn’t think my mother likes her but I doubt it’s her personally; she just resents it that I have a friend.

4 of the kids also went to a funeral for a guy at our church and Cadets and he was 80 YRS old and died just a week after he found out he had cancer but I think that’s the best way; he wasn’t dragging on suffering for months or YRS and he did live a good long life( it’s more tragic when a young person dies because they get cheated out of living their whole life) and this was their first time ever at a funeral and they thought seeing a dead body ( it was an open casket) was “creepy” and “gross” and that he looked “white” and that it “smelled like old people”. The 20 YR old also had avoided our jar of biscotti as he thought they were dog biscuits, and the 7 YR old has been sleeping with my mother in her bed for the past few nights again as well, “babying” him, even though we’ve been thru this before; he has his OWN bed and he’s supposed to sleep there and her excuse this time is he’s “cold” and he’s “too cold in his room” and “Do you want him to freeze to death?” but it’s cold in EVERYONE’S rooms because the furnace doesn’t heat up the house adequately( so we also have to use space heaters and electric heaters to supplement but it’s still always cold) and my hubby agrees with me(for once!) on this,too, but she’s always overstepping boundaries with our kids and undermining us. Our finances are so bad now as well we can only shop for groceries every 2 weeks now instead of weekly and pretty soon we’ll probably have to end up going to the food bank if it gets much worse…

It also said on the news 4 guys were arrested coming into the country as they had child porn on their cell phones but my question is how did they even KNOW what they HAD on their cell phones? I certainly agree child porn is heinous but does Big Brother Police State now check out your cell phone( I don’t know because I’ve never had one) every time you enter the country now? Geez, talk about oppressive and intrusive, and they even arrest people on “suspicion” of terrorism now,too, just for trying to fly out to Middle Eastern countries even though they could be headed there for other reasons, such as visiting relatives or for tourism, so I guess *I* was lucky when I went to the Middle East they didn’t think *I* went off to join ISIS or something,too, and “Charlie Hebdo” magazine is now going to release yet another offensive  satirical cartoon of the Muslim prophet Muhammed on it’s next cover despite the recent terrorist attacks which I think is a dumb idea as they’re just asking for trouble and stirring the pot. I mean, why provoke and aggravate things, right? They should also learn the difference between exercising free speech and religious intolerance and hate speech.