What If I Die?

Heaven The 8 YR old asked me out of the blue while I was giving him a bath, ” What would you do if you died?” and I told him, “Nothing; I’d be dead.” and then he clarified what was *really* on his mind(I just thought it was a general question at first) “What if you died having your operation?” and I explained I’ve had surgeries before and have never had any problems but if I did die but I went to Heaven that I’d be happy and then I went on to explain that Heaven is beautiful, that you get to meet God and Jesus, that everyone is happy there, that colours are brighter there than here on Earth, that flowers are prettier, that everything is more vibrant and beautiful, that it’s filled with happiness and love, and there’s no bad guys, and no sadness, pain, suffering, or fear and everyone’s happy and no one wants to come back. That seemed to satisfy him but I wonder what brought that on? Why would he think I might die during my surgery( which is scheduled for Monday as long as I can get my potassium up) Does he know something that I don’t?

As for trying to get my potassium levels up, as well as doubling my supplements and eating bananas and kiwis until I’m sick of them and never want to see another again as long as I live I also stopped taking my diuretic and I’ve already gained 8 pounds since stopping it last week, all water weight! I’ll go back on it once again once I’ve had my blood work done but I suspect that’s what’s been depleting my potassium and I’ll see my family doc about switching me over to a diuretic that doesn’t absorb potassium. I also wondered why the ravioli for dinner was so spicy when we used the same sauce as always…but then found out that the 20 YR old snuck in a bunch of cayenne pepper as a “joke”…yeah…ha,ha, very “funny!”

I saw the dentist for another cleaning again( just one more left to go I’ll get done after my surgery once I recover) and when they injected the freezing I could feel my heart racing and I felt really dizzy and they were freaking out and I was panicking; I felt like I was having a heart attack and it was scary! They said it was the epinephrine in the freezing that was causing it and that it would settle down in a few minutes, which it did, but that’s never happened to me before! It freaked me out and I half imagined dying of a heart attack in the dental chair! I could also smell the hygenist’s hair spray as she kept bending over me to do the cleaning and it made me nauseous.

The 8 YR old goes for his first Confession tomorrow as well, preparing for his First Communion at the end of the month, and Buddy has been really whiny and desperate to get outside and to get to Patti’s dog for the past few days,too, as she’s in heat, plus she walked by our house and peed in front of it, marking her scent and he can even smell it from indoors and it’s driving him wild and he keeps whimpering and whining and trying to get outside to get to her and when we visited them he kept chasing her all over trying to hump her and got so tired out he was panting and I was afraid he’d have a heart attack from the exertion! Patti wouldn’t let him hump her though and he was just frantic, the poor guy; he’s so depraved!