Envy is the biggest sin and weakness that I struggle with. EVERYONE is prettier than me, smarter than I am,happier than me, etc.I just seem to have been born under a bad sign as they say: I’m ugly, I’m dumb, I have Asperger’s, Social Phobia, depression,and now I’m fat,too.What a combination! It seems so absurd, almost like some sort of cosmic joke. I basically don’t have anything “going” for me and I don’t even have $$$$ to make up for it,either and I have no talents or skills. Other people just seem to live charmed lives where everything just always works out for them and comes easy, where they just sail thru life while everything for me is always a struggle and it’s just so unfair. Why can’t for once my life be like theirs? If only I were like them; if only I was better looking, had an easier life, had the choices and opportunities they have, had better luck like they do, etc. I don’t envy them in the way that I resent them and wish them harm; I just wish life could be as easy, as charmed, as happy, and as fortunate for me, too.
As well, my mother snickered about my Social Phobia that there’s “no reason” for it and that “nothing happened” to me that would explain it….yeah, right…nothing except YRS of being bullied, abused, rejected,ostracized,and victimized, but she’s never given me any support, only blame and criticism and it’s never occurred to her that SHE might be part of the problem,either. I also found a huge rusty NAIL that went right thru my flip-flop while I was wearing it! it went all the way thru the bottom right thru the top and poked up in-between 2 toes! I’m just glad it wasn’t INTO my foot( or I would have been like Jesus with a nail in my foot) or else I’d have to go to the hospital for a tetanus shot, not exactly how I’d planned to start off my day.
We also got 62 mm of rain the other day and broke a record and it filled the pool right to the top so when I went swimming it all sloshed up onto the deck, my hubby went in to Toronto for work and they all went to this Greek place to eat supper but he doesn’t eat Greek food( but I love it) so he just brought it home for me so I have Greek food for lunch now! Toronto is trying to ban this controversial blogger from speaking there as well and even though the guy does seem like a douche he should still have freedom of speech and if you think he’s a pig then you don’t have to listen to him but banning people entry into the country just smacks of totalitarianism, and the provincial Liberal gov’t is also trying to impose a mandatory pension plan on all workers too, which also means raising taxes even more and would force some small companies out of business;Big Brother always thinking they know what’s “best” for us and always trying to force things on us; this country is just so Fascist. I hate it more and more all the time.