I Surrender!

WhiteFlagSurrender I surrender. I give up. I stopped wearing my shorts and tank tops. I put my flip-flops away. I’m now wearing long pants and long sleeves and jackets and socks. I no longer lay out and get my tan.I took the A/C out of my bedroom window.I put the blankets on my bed. I accept that summer is really over and that it’s fall now. I am officially freezing my ass off now. It was still nice and warm all of September except for like the last day and I still had my tan until the end of September and was even still out in the sun tanning until the end of September…..and then in just a matter of ONE DAY everything all just suddenly changed,and then it quickly turned cold! It went from 23 C down to 13 C or even colder and only 5 C overnight! Now it really and truly looks and feels like fall; the leaves are turning colour on the trees, it’s raining alot, we have lots of wet leaves on the ground, it’s cold and windy, there’s that cold chill and cold “nip” in the air,it gets dark just after 7 pm now and doesn’t get light in the morning until after 7 am, Thanksgiving is this upcoming weekend already…I can’t believe it’s October. Where has the time gone? We’ve been back to school for a month already! I held on to summer as long as I possibly could but then was suddenly forced to give it up and was faced with the cold hard reality of fall. The hanging begonias died with the sudden cold( but the geraniums are still doing well) and with summer gone I feel like a part of me had “died” as well. I am NOT looking forward to the long, cold winter. It’s almost half the YR here and it’s a long time until the next summer again….

As well, I wonder if it might even be a kidney or adrenal tumour or some other kidney or adrenal problem I have( and I DO also have a dull, nagging pain on my lower back on the right side), which would explain the low potassium AND high BP but the scan will show if there are any tumours if so, and the 14 YR old said that the 16 and 17 YR olds “don’t like” Buddy as he “stinks” ( I give him a bath every week so he DOESN’T “stink”) and he “barks too much” ( except he only barks when they make noise, so THEY just make too much noise!) and my hubby and the 8 YR old said they “found a Dachshund they like”….and it was a skeleton! Why are they always so MEAN and say such hurtful cruel things all the time?

My cousin called as well and said one of my mother’s cousin’s died and a bunch of my cousins are going to the Turks and Caicos and a private island today and to Spain and Portugal in April, too, and she said she’s “getting ‘tired’ of the Caribbean” as she goes there every YR; I could NEVER get “tired” of it, and it pains me that they can go away TWICE a YR when we can’t even go away once a YR anymore and have to take out loans just to pay our BILLS! I remember when *we* used to have $$$$$ too and now we don’t and we’re really struggling and it hurts to have “reminders” of what we once had and then lost.