Yesterday I had another killer migraine all day again. I hadn’t had them for awhile; my medication the neurologist gave me had been working well but now this is my 5th one now in just the past 6 weeks so they’re back once again. Migraines are not just your common headache and,in fact, are in a whole new category entirely on their own. You can’t even compare the two.(My mother’s so lucky, she says she never gets headaches) I have been told that I have a very high pain tolerance and they just wipe me out and exhaust me. Sometimes they can last for days( my longest one lasted for 33 days straight!) and can get so bad that I vomit from the pain.The only thing more painful is labour. They’re even more painful than surgery! The closest thing I can describe it to is like ice-picks in my skull and it feels like my head is going to explode. I got a spinal headache once when a doctor doing a procedure hit my spinal fluid by mistake and it feels like that. Basically the worst kind of headache you can imagine and then multiply it by ten…or maybe a 100. I have often wondered if that’s what having an aneurysm feels like.
It was another one of those bad ones that woke me up during the night and so right from the start I hit it with all I’ve got; with all the medications I can, being careful to space them all 2 HRS apart to avoid over-medicating or harmful inter-actions, I even took the “migraine-busting” pill that costs 25$ a pill…..yet nothing helped…..my hubby even did painful foot reflexology…nothing worked….
oddly enough, it only started to ease up a bit in time for church after we’d ordered Dominos pizza and I had a slice. They must have some “miracle” formula in Dominos pizza that knocks out migraines! Whatever it is, they should market it, because it was only after eating that piece of pizza did it start to feel a bit better! Who’d think, the “cure” for migraines can be found in a Dominos pizza? The “Rich Lady” was at church again,too,and she’s the kind of person I see myself being friends with(and she reminds me of my “old” life; the life I used to have before, when we used to have $$$$) and I admire her; she inspires me, and I’d be interested in being her friend, but I mean, how exactly would I go about doing it without seeming creepy? With my Asperger’s I just don’t HAVE the usual social skills and knowledge that goes along with it and that everyone else just naturally knows and takes for granted; I wouldn’t even know where to begin or how to even start to make friends..
As well, the 12 YR old continues to be mouthy and mean; puberty hasn’t done her any “favours” and I want the “old” B.B. back; the way she used to be; I miss her; I miss the nice, sweet girl that used to love me and wasn’t so mean-spirited and mouthy(where did she GO?What happened to her?) and who used to like to spend time with me, and when we used to be close. I wish I could have her back again and that we could go back to the way we were before, and now that the kids have become “worldly” I feel I have failed,too, now that I’ve lost them to the world and they’ve turned away from God as that’s NOT the way we raised them, but the foundation is still there and the “seed” has been planted and every day I pray that one day they’ll come back, but when DID they turn towards the world and where did they get their ideas from,though? That’s one reason why we homeschool them, to keep them *away* from bad influences in the world, so did they get it from Cadets or from their public school friends,perhaps? For me the most important thing was to raise godly children and I’ve failed despite trying so hard…..