The other day I had this dream that God carried me in His hands, like in the photo seen here, only I was naked, curled up like a baby and crying, crying in gratitude, feeling how much He loved me. I could feel it, and sense it and was just overcome with so much love and gratitude. I was so overcome to be loved so much and so completely by Him, esp. when no one one else loves me other than my dog and it was an amazing dream I can still remember very clearly. I wonder if it signifies that I might also be dying soon as well? I’m eager for Heaven though and can’t wait and I long for it, a place where I’ll get to meet God, Jesus, my Guardian Angel, deceased relatives, and where I will be made whole again; no more Asperger’s, Social Phobia, depression, being fat or ugly, where I will belong, be welcomed,and surrounded by love,and where all my dreams will come true. Who *wouldn’t* be eager to go there?
Going to church on Sunday was also a big rush, hassle, and stressful as always every week, trying to get the kids ready and out the door on time as they’re always so last-minute, and the 14 YR old couldn’t find her leggings, the 12 YR old didn’t like her dress and wore one that was too short and her boots were all wet and she had to wear her running shoes, and they just left 5 minutes before it started, just barely making it on time. The “Rich Lady” was there again as well and she was wearing Chanel shoes and she shook my hand for Sign of Peace! My legs are also REALLY swollen now with fluid retention,too, esp. my left one and they feel achy making me wonder if maybe I have a blood clot or maybe it even indicates congestive heart failure= poor circulation?
A cousin who lives just outside of London is also on holiday now staying at her mother’s villa in Spain( she spends the winters there) and when Patti comes back from the hospital after her surgery I’ll go over and visit her and I’ll bring her over dinner that’ll last a couple of days so she won’t have to cook(since she won’t be up on her feet for awhile) and I think I’ll make one of my fave. meals: coconut chicken with fusili pasta with sour cream and mushroom sauce. The 8 YR old also asked me “Why do you love Buddy so much?” but why wouldn’t I? He loves ME and I love him back, and he’s the only one that does, and he provides me with love and companionship I wouldn’t have otherwise, and he’s so cute he even stops traffic: while I was out walking him a woman pulled over in her van and said what a “cutie” he is and how she loves his little sweater. Everyone loves him, even strangers!