Remember how I said I’d be willing to try weed to help my migraines? Well, as it turns out I was afforded the opportunity! I got some from this guy I’ve known since he was 12 (he’s in his 20’s now) who got it from someone else so it was from someone I already know and trust so I wasn’t as nervous, I didn’t have to worry he might be an undercover cop or something and I’d end up busted; that would just be MY “luck” though; of all the hard-core drug addicts that never get caught I would be the one that would: the 48 YR old mother, the first time trying marijuana for migraine relief! I got 5 joints for 20$ which’s actually cheaper than I’d expected and he was even kind enough to roll them for me as there’s no way I’d be able to do it! He even made little filters for them too and I never would have thought of that.
I woke up with a headache so I decided to try and see; I went out into the shed and lit one up. It took 15-20 minutes for me to smoke it and I heard a siren close by and started to panic worried the cops were after me but it passed by and I relaxed. I was surprised how small the joints are as well, much smaller and thinner than regular cigarettes and they smell like skunk, so I know it’s the real thing and I didn’t get cheated; they didn’t put oregano in or something! I was nervous, not knowing what it would do to me, what being “stoned” would feel like, if I would notice or if anyone else would, but as it turned out it doesn’t “work” on me! The headache went away but I never got “baked”, no “buzz”, nothing! I sort of feel “cheated” in a way and I’m probably the only person in the world that’s smoked marijuana and hasn’t gotten stoned! The only thing was that it made me really tired and a bit dizzy but that was it!
No one else noticed anything different about me,either, except my mother said she noticed that I was extra tired and lethargic and wasn’t able to do anything but that was it, but my perception wasn’t altered, my senses weren’t magnified or heightened, I wasn’t in “communion” with God, I wasn’t “one” with nature, I wasn’t giddy or giggly, the “real” me didn’t come “out”, the universe didn’t “expand”, colours weren’t more “vivid”, TV and music wasn’t any different, my pupils weren’t dilated, I didn’t get the “munchies”, I didn’t get really chatty or overly quiet, etc. I just felt the same as usual so I figure either me having Asperger’s and depression the chemistry and receptors in my brain is wired differently and maybe it doesn’t affect me the same way and I can’t get “high”, or maybe due to my medications, or maybe WITH my medications I already AM high; that it’s how I normally AM every day( but I just don’t realize it?) and so the added cannabis made no noticeable difference? Maybe I’m just “broken?” Maybe it’s just like sex though, maybe it takes a few tries and takes awhile to get the “hang” of it before it “works?” It took me 2 weeks of doing IT before it finally worked and then it was like, “Oh! THAT’S what it’s supposed to be like!” Maybe it just takes time to “hit” the right spot?
I was wondering if maybe the joint was a “dud” or something but it did smell like ganja, and I know I did smoke it right as I did inhale deeply, I held it in for awhile before exhaling the smoke out; I took in full deep breaths,and so much so that my throat is still all hoarse from the smoke and it left this gross after-taste in my mouth and for a little while afterwards when I would let out a breath little puffs of smoke would come out, like a fire breathing dragon! I still can’t believe I really actually did it though; I SMOKED POT! I feel like a rebel and it felt sort of empowering! My mother’s worried now that at my doctor’s app’t they’ll take a urine sample…..I doubt it though and even if they did it would only show up if they were specifically LOOKING for that,and besides, it would have cleared out of my system by then! I feel like a rebel though, and I still laugh to myself with the realization that I really actually did it. It’s so UNLIKE me! I’m not going to mention it to my hubby though as I know he’d only belittle and berate me; he already calls me a “drug addict” because of my medications so I don’t need any MORE hassle!