Ugly.

UglyRobertHogeBook There is an Australian man named Robert Hoge who has written a book titled “Ugly.” It is about his own life growing up being “unfortunate-looking” and in his case not just your average garden-variety ugly but abnormal deformed ugly. The book is his autobiography and tells of what it’s like being ugly in a world that’s geared towards beauty, and that caters to, rewards, values, glorifies, and prefers beauty and that is very cruel to the ugly.A world where unattractive folks are bullied, shamed, seen as “less-than”, rejected, over-looked, ostracized, never picked(or picked last) devalued, and treated with contempt and scorn. I really want to buy this book as I can relate to him, his life, and his struggles.

RobertHoge This is the author. He was born with a tumour on his face and even his own MOTHER rejected him at birth, left him at the hospital(initially) and wished that he would die. He required several surgeries but eventually grew up to be a man, and would even go on to marry and have a child of his own. I know what he endures; I know what it’s like when the “Ugly Duckling” STAYS the “Ugly Duckling” and never becomes the “Beautiful Swan.” The ugly simply do NOT have the same choices, chances, opportunities, offers, advancements, etc. that good-looking people do and to say otherwise would be a lie. They say that “looks don’t matter” but we all know that they do. The first impression is even based on how someone’s appearance is. Face it, if you think someone is ugly, would you ask them for a date? It’s a well-known fact that people seek out attractive-looking mates. The world also opens up to the good-looking and life is much easier for them than it is for the not-so-good-looking. Speaking of which, I came close to killing myself again last night. I was so tempted to swallow a bottle of pills; I’m just so tired of my life; tired of a family that hates me and treats me like shit, tired of  hating myself, my life,how I look and how I feel, tired of chasing dreams that will never happen, tired of wishing for a life I’ll never have and for the “lost” life I want but is always out of my reach.

As well, I call the marijuana I take for my migraines my “herbal medicine” or my “herbal remedies” and I’m all out now so my “herbalist” said he can come by in a couple of days so I can get more and I figure if I “ration” them to twice a week that should hopefully keep my headaches at bay, and I still have no other reaction; I don’t get “high” or feel any different( other than more tired) so I wonder if maybe due to my other medications  cannabis doesn’t “bind” to the receptors in my brain or something, or maybe with my severe depression I don’t even HAVE any dopamine? Maybe it just takes a few tries to “work” though and perhaps the next batch will be different? It would also be nice if it does wonders on my depression,too…I can really use whatever I can get…..