Welcome Home!

WelcomeHome(new) The 17 YR old is now home from the hospital following his suicide attempt. It has been a VERY hard and long past few days and VERY emotionally draining and exhausting. They kept him in for observation and he has follow-up counselling but no meds which I find to be odd and concerning and my fear is now that he’s home what if he attempts it again? The doctor said he doesn’t show any indications of a major  disorder such as bipolar or schizophrenia and not even depression( which *I* find hard to believe; I mean, happy people don’t try to KILL themselves!!) but rather it was a “transient” and “impulsive” act which was why we never saw any warning signs,and that it was “over a girl”( and I’m sure that the girl in question would be devastated to know!) but the good is that at least it’s NOT anything that WE did or didn’t do; that it’s not OUR fault as parents!

MH This is the hippo that I painted at the hospital  in the common recreation area and a couple of the workers there admired and one even asked if I studied art(  and I told her I took it all thru highschool) and I also ate delicious orange sherbet they had there, and when our son was there our Parish priest came and visited him( at my request) to offer spiritual guidance, counselling and prayer as healing requires emotional, physical AND spiritual healing,and he said he was surprised that he even missed Buddy too and his “cute little face”.(Buddy missed him,too.)

He was also  surprised( and I sensed disappointed and hurt) that the 21 YR old never came to visit him and the 19 YR old never even phoned, but me, my hubby, my mother,and the 16 YR old visited him every day, and his friends phoned him,one even from California and his older sister even all the way from Japan, so he KNOWS he has family and friends that care about him and love him, unlike me, if *I* killed myself no one would even care and in fact, they would probably be glad to be rid of me. No one would be too surprised if I did eventually someday,either, but it came as a complete and total shock when he tried and no one expected it.For me, suicide almost seems to be a “natural” way to die!

I lit one up as well and it helped to calm my shattered nerves and helped me sleep and for the first time my pupils also dilated and my eyes were blood-shot and I got hungry but it only lasted for an HR but it works in preventing and eliminating my migraines though: I haven’t had one since!