The Interview.

Interview The 16 YR old had her interview with Cadets as she’s applying for the coveted spot to be able to go to Germany for 3 weeks in the summer but something like only 1 Cadet in the entire PROVINCE is selected so competition is *fierce* and she was *REALLY* nervous about it. They asked questions about the gov’t and the Premiers, etc. and she studied hard for it and was prepared well but the poor thing was a bundle of nerves. Her anxiety was thru the roof and then the interviewer scolded her for spinning around in the swivel chair( which she did out of nervousness and they should KNOW that) “Stop spinning in the chair! You’re giving me motion sickness!” and she was mortified and sure that she “blew” it; that that one gaffe would deduct 90% of the “points” even though she aced the interview itself and passed all the questions and they would have known that she knows her stuff and I reminded her that even though she was nervous it doesn’t mean that she’s not qualified and they’d have to expect that she’d BE nervous and that they’ve seen it all before.

So now she has to wait 6 weeks to find out how she did….and she’s JUST LIKE ME….and I KNOW that she’ll dwell on it EVERY DAY now for the NEXT 6 WKS playing the scenario over and over in her head, hearing the reprimand over and over, it will be weighing on her mind, playing over and over in a “loop”, eating away at her, convincing her that that one little thing wrecked everything for her, blowing it all out of proportion, taking on a life of it’s own, making it a much bigger issue than it actually is, because anxiety is like that. Life’s like that when you have an anxiety disorder. It grabs hold and won’t let go, strangling you with worry and dread as you imagine the worst, convince that you “blew” it, and NOTHING, I mean, NOTHING, can convince you otherwise.

As well, Buddy was a BAD boy; he got up on the table and snatched the pepperoni off my plate that I’d had saved for him( but it was interesting that he didn’t touch MY piece of pizza, just the pepperoni that he knew was HIS) and I had these funny dreams,too: that we were at a Japanese restaurant and the 16 YR old thought they’d put black ants in her food but I told her it was just black pepper, and another where the 18 and 21 YR olds were building a bomb in the garage, and one where we got 12 parcels delivered all on the same day but none of them were the hippo/ my belated B-Day gift I’m waiting for.

I have another yeast infection(again!) as well, and I HATE my new medication Spironolactone, I’ll need it the rest of my life to lower my aldosterone levels…..but it gives me frequent yeast infections, “Aunt Flow” every 3 WKS, made me gain weight, makes my hair grow slower, and hasn’t gotten rid of any of my fluid retention,either!I hope when I see my doc next he can substitute another med….

I’m also disgusted how fat and ugly I am; I look like a hippo too, and not a cute one,either, just a big fat one; no wonder no one was ever attracted to me and my hubby’s the only one who ever wanted to sleep with me, him and probably my old friend J, although he doesn’t have any standards though: he said as long as it’s female and it’s breathing he’d sleep with it, he even told me so, which might also explain why he’s in his 50’s and still single….that,and he’s an alcoholic…