Police were at the rooming-house at the corner again so I wonder what the losers there did NOW? One of them also yelled something out the window at Patti as she was walking by,too,and she just yelled, “Oh, f*ck-off!” back at them, but with my experience with bullies at school and all the rednecks in this town I have found that the best way to deal with white trash and their aggression and tendency to be confrontational and bullies is to just try to ignore them and to avoid eye contact. Don’t even glance at them or else they see it as staring and a challenge and will most likely reply with, “What the f*ck are YOU staring at?” and will most likely either get you punched out, shot, or stabbed. The best thing is to avert your gaze away and not even look anywhere in their direction,but to just look down and walk by quickly, and if they DO think you’re looking at them(they tend to be paranoid) then you can also always try to defuse the situation by “dis-arming” them with a compliment, saying, “Oh, I was just admiring your hairstyle”, or “I like your shoes! Where did you get them?” or something to that effect.
As well, one of the redneck neighbours also had a big snake he was carrying around and when Patti heard a rude song (Khia’s “My neck, my back”) I had playing on my iPod she looked horrified and gasped, “Oh, that’s nasty!” and said sarcastically, “Your mother must be so proud!” and all I could do was laugh; what else could I do? and the 13 YR old said in the new “Finding Dory” movie they have a lesbian fish couple,too, and it’s disgusting how they force it on everyone, so in your face, and have it in all the kids’ stuff to indoctrinate them and make them think it’s “normal” and acceptable and she always defends gays,too, saying they’re “born that way” and they “can’t help it” so I suppose she thinks that *PEDOPHILES* and people that commit incest and bestiality are “born that way” and “can’t help it” either then,too? Afterall, what’s the difference? They’re all unnatural, disordered,and perverted, and why one group and not the others? Once it starts with one group where does it end?
Here are also my thoughts on the news story of the recent “poor gorilla”(and related public outcry) that was killed at the zoo when a young child fell into it’s enclosure and had to be rescued and the parents got blamed for “neglect”: there ARE such things as accidents, and even though it WAS unfortunate they couldn’t take any chances and better a dead gorilla than a dead child, although I have a feeling that there would somehow be LESS outrage if the CHILD had died than if the gorilla did. It saddens me that people are *more* concerned about animal welfare than they value human life. I also saw on the news about a pot dispensary they asked the customer if he was buying weed for pain relief or to help him sleep and he goes, “I just want to get high,man!” Well….at least he was honest!
I figure as well that the ideal man for me would be someone who’s blind as then he wouldn’t be able to see me and he would never know that I’m ugly and he would just know me for the person that he *knows* and NOT the person that he SEES…..Too bad everyone else doesn’t “see” me that way,too.
THIS is what a shaved Dachshund looks like in case you were wondering. It’s still sooooo steaming hot(it’s even hotter here than in California) it feels like my FACE is melting(and it’s not that the heat that’s so bad, it’s the humidity!!It felt like 35 C!!)) and the 13 YR old offered to shave Buddy to relieve him from the heat….oh, she’s too “kind”…ha,ha,ha…Needless to say I didn’t do it but we’re really struggling thru this heatwave, esp. with the A/C broken and we haven’t opened the pool yet! UGH! Open windows and doors, and fans only do so much and it doesn’t really help against this heat!
It was also the 17 YR old’s birthday yesterday and she had 5 friends over(one even drove up all the way from Toronto!) and they all went to an “Escape Room” for her party and then ate at Pizza Hut and came back here for ice cream cake. I also saw these 2 cute babies sitting ahead of me in church and it brought back happy nostalgic memories of when my kids were babies and for a moment(but JUST for a moment!) I had that longing for another baby again but then was quickly jolted back to reality when I realized they don’t stay that way for long….and then grow up to be *teen-agers!* it’s kind of like when you see a puppy and you wish you had one….until you realize how destructive they are and all the messes they make…….
I also noticed my make-up brushes are missing; I had 5 of them in the package in the bath room and now there’s only one left so I know SOMEONE(one of the kids) took them as they don’t just walk off on their own so whoever it WAS had better put them back (so if you’re reading this and you took it PUT IT BACK!!!)as I need them, and my mother and hubby scoffed that I “don’t do any work” and “don’t do anything”…ummm, excuse me? I had 11 kids…I fed them, changed them, raised them, and homeschooled for 25 YRS….but that’s NOT work? That’s NOT doing anything? They can just go and f*ck themselves! My toxic family never runs out of ways to belittle and berate me and to put me down, and they’re always trying to change me,too; why can’t anyone just take me as I am and love me as I am?
One of the neighbours has these 2 big dogs that are always outside barking….and one of them has only 3 legs and I nick-named it “Tripod.” I remember a few YRS back when it got hit by the truck on our street(that’s how it lost it’s leg) and the ironic thing was it was hit by a truck with a logo of a dog on it with the words, “Everyone’s a lucky dog!” on it! It was the most absurd thing ever. There was also a pitbull running loose on our street today,too, so we came in and I brought Buddy inside as my poor little Dachshund would have been dinner for it, and Patti brought her dog to a dog festival here in town yesterday but I had no way to go with Buddy as my hubby wasn’t here to drive me and it was too far to walk,and it’s still so HOT,too, so sweltering that my shirt sticks to me with sweat,and to try and cool off I have to wet my hair with cold water!
Speaking of dogs, the 21 YR old’s friend in California had to put one of her dogs “down” the other day as it was 14 YRS old and had a tumour that kept leaking a trail of blood wherever it went and the poor little thing was just laying there and not eating or moving. That’s so sad.She used to have 3 dogs and now she just has one left. I actually wouldn’t be surprised if they even ended up getting *married* one day and I think that would be nice…. The second-oldest in Japan is also arranging the 18 YR old’s flight to Edmonton from where she is and I suppose because it’s cheaper to get flights from outside of the country than it is to book them from here where we’re always over-charged and it costs a fortune, and one of our cousins in Europe is also on vacation staying at her mother’s villa in Spain!
My mother also made bacon for breakfast and gave everyone else 3 pieces….but only gave ME 2 pieces and then when I mentioned it she smirked that I “should be grateful that I even got ANY at ALL” and whenever the store has a 2 for 6$ special on chips she always buys 2 bags for my hubby,too, and none for me instead of getting us a bag each, and she’ll take everyone’s laundry out of the dryer(incl. my hubby’s) except for mine and just leave mine in there…..and then she wonders WHY I think she’s a bitch, unfair, and treats me like shit,singles me out,aggravates and provokes me, insults and berates me,and always trying to get in these little “digs” at me…..yet I still don’t know WHY she *does* it and why she hates me so much(and why she likes my hubby more than she like me) and my only guess is that perhaps I “remind” her of my father, who she hates?
The model airplane above and the painting here were both made by the 16 YR old, soon-to-be 17 YR old(tomorrow!). The plane was entered in a model airplane contest for Cadets and won an Honourable Mention(even though the morons spelled it wrong, duh) even though I personally think she should have won First, and you can’t really tell from the photo(I took it with my iPod) but it’s emerging out of a book. It was very well done,and she also painted the picture just for fun.
She is very talented(like all of the kids are) She excels not only in art, but also in writing(and has even had a story published in a book after she won a writing contest!) and in dance and has won numerous awards in Cadets as well.She also completed 2 YRS of school(grades 11 and 12) in just one YR, and for university she hopes to go on to be a historian but she’s interested in astronomy as well. Right now she’s learning to drive but the one thing that she can’t do is cook; it always turns out to be a disaster! Last night her and the 13 YR old also went to see a musical(I like it when the kids get some culture!) and I just found out as well that next week the 18 YR old is moving out to Alberta and going to live with the oldest as jobs are easier to find out there and I think it will be good for him,too, to be with him and having his older brother to look out for him.
It’s sooooo hot now as well(it’s like July weather!) we’re having a heatwave and I’m sweating like a pig and I have to sleep naked and of course our A/C is still broken and the furnace guy said he’s having trouble finding the part to fix it (why DO these things ALWAYS happen to US?) and now my mother’s afraid that he’s going to say they don’t make them anymore and we’ll need an entirely new central air unit which we can’t afford anymore, and Patti was over for a visit and she told me what the police blockade was the other day: a psycho at the rooming -house was shooting a pellet gun at D’s husband as he was out the front mowing his lawn! WTF? I swear, people here are C-R-A-Z-Y! The crazy f*cker is lucky that he didn’t shoot him BACK for real, with a REAL gun,as he’s in the military! I can’t *believe* this place and all the crazy rednecks here….
The summer after I finished grade 11 my mother and I moved to L.A. We had been there a few times on holidays before and we fell in love with it. The weather was nice and we loved the “vibe” of Southern California, so at the end of the school YR we gave all our furniture to our relatives( it would have cost too much to ship it) packed up our clothes, and took a flight off to our new lives. It was a dream for us.It was an adventure of a lifetime and we were so excited!It was so long ago now it seems like a lifetime ago.
My mother had a new job waiting for her at a hospital there and had passed her California state board exams( she already had her license here but had to get re-certified to work there) and her employer had our visas and other paperwork all in order, and I had taken and passed my entrance exams at the Beverly Hills Prep School so we were all set. Sadly it didn’t last long though; what we’d thought was to be for the rest of our lives was ended shortly after due to the high crime and we were both mugged within 2 weeks of eachother and were left so shaken and traumatized that it just wasn’t the same anymore and we were left scared, disillusioned and didn’t feel safe anymore so we came back.I guess some places are nice to visit, but not to live.
We had just bought all *new* furniture when we’d arrived that we had to now get rid of, which our gardener(yes, we had a gardener!) and his family took and we had to start all over yet again. It was very disheartening and defeating. I didn’t want to come back here,either, to a place I hate, but we didn’t have any other choice. What had been our dream ended up to be a nightmare, a bust, a failure, and nothing more than shattered hopes. It was also a time of great hope and optimism for me as well, I was 17 and on the cusp of adulthood, eager and excited for what the future might bring; I still had hope that maybe I could become pretty, and “outgrow” being an Ugly Duckling, and I had such romantic hopes, dreams, and fantasies about what my future would be like; that I would fall in love after a breath-taking romance and I’d get married and have kids and be happy…the future held so much hope and promise and I was young and hopeful and full of dreams and excited for them to unfold…..adulthood was so close and so exciting I imagined so many amazing things and could hardly wait……
But like my dream of moving to L.A. it wasn’t anything like I’d hoped and dreamed. I’d never “outgrow” my looks.. I’d never get that romance. I’d never find love. Happiness would always elude me. I guess some dreams aren’t meant to be and are just meant to remain as dreams…..