His Job.

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My hubby told me what appeared to be some really good news: the 18 YR old got a job, and a really good one,too: working for a Swedish company that works with Bitcoins and would be paying him 19$ an HR, which is almost DOUBLE minimum wage( pretty good for your first job, don’t ya think?) AND help pay towards his university courses costs, so of course we were over-joyed…..and then we found out that the reason it sounded too-good-to-be-true is because it WAS: it turned out to be some sort of scam and NOT a legitimate job,afterall: they called HIM…..and said HE has to pay THEM $$$$$ to get started…..that’s just sooooo “fishy”…. and so disappointing. Something else will show up though and when God closes one door another opens….

Even more heart-breaking news: I just found out that the 13 YR old’s been *cutting* herself and it’s been going on for quite some time now; I just happened to see some old healed cut marks on her arm exactly like the 18 YR old had so I recognized them….and she has this big bandage over the area for awhile now as well she said was where Buddy “bit” her…..except he never did….and I got suspicious and concerned so I tore the bandage off and was horrified to see several fresh, big, deep, new cuts.

It just broke my heart.I can’t even begin to describe my sorrow. She goes in for her first counselling session tomorrow.I just wish she’d TOLD us she was depressed and struggling.

As well the oldest and the 18 YR old(who live in Alberta) got flooded; they live in the basement part of a house and it got all flooded due to torrential rain so now they’re all sloshing around in inches-deep water, and my mother and hubby always scoff that I “never listen” because I don’t do what THEY want or say but SHE never pays attention or reads labels and always buys the wrong stuff….and then blames ME when *I* get mad she gets the wrong things even though it WAS *her* fault, but that’s yet another example of how she “twists” everything around to make it look like I’m at fault,  and she also gave the 9 YR old an entire box of bagel bites all to himself even though it’s supposed to be shared between 2 people and not just for 1 person to eat…and then she went and complained to all the kids how *I* was “bitching” about it, trying to get them to turn on me and take her “side” like always.

I can also now see that what I thought at the time I had mistaken for “boredom” in my life at age 20 or so was actually a mere absence of stress, fear, and worry…..what I wouldn’t give to have that life BACK….

before I met my hubby…..

before kids…..

before trauma…..

before I got damaged and broken beyond repair…..

before where I was the “old” me, the way I used to be……before.

The Swamp.

Screen Shot 06-27-16 at 12.37 PM The pool guys came yesterday and opened up our pool for the season…..but it’s GREEN! It looked like a swamp( I wonder if there’s any alligators in there?) but they put in 40 litres of liquid chlorine, a big jug of algaecide, plus a bunch of other chemicals…..the kids were complaining how “gross” the water was(even though it’s clean!) and refused to swim in it…..I’m the only one who will….and besides, people swim in the lakes, rivers, swamps, bayous, creeks, etc. that looks alot worse than this….and with all the chemicals in it there won’t be any bacteria so we know it’s safe….

Screen Shot 06-28-16 at 03.21 PM But then 24 HRS later after circulating the water’s looking better! Whew! My mother snarked, “It’s STILL green!” but as the photo clearly shows it’s more of a blue colour now, as you can tell esp. when you compare the 2 photos. We have a big algae problem every YR even though we brush and vacuum it like we’re supposed to, test the water, and put the chemicals in…..things just have a habit of NOT working for us….have you noticed? My hubby and mother are seriously talking about moving next YR(once the 17 YR old goes off to university) and down-sizing to a smaller place and said if so we won’t even be opening the pool next YR as it costs so much $$$$ to run and maintain between all the chemicals and the cost of electricity running the pump.

Screen Shot 06-28-16 at 03.20 PM Here is the view I have sitting out on the porch in the backyard. I just love it. It’s my peaceful place, my secluded spot, my sanctuary, the place I go to every day to get away from my toxic family, to relax, to de-stress….if we DO end up moving we’ll have to make sure we find a place with similar secluded peaceful backyard that offers me the same privacy, tranquility, and peace,surrounded by trees, although my mother and hubby don’t give two-shits about I want, need, think, feel, say, and my thoughts and opinions don’t matter.

My mother also yelled at me for giving Buddy the “good” ham and I said at least he’s happy, and added, “At least SOMEONE’S happy…..”( indicating that I’m glad that he’s happy even if I’m not) and then she jeered sarcastically, “The KIDS aren’t happy…..but as long as the DOG is!” but just because the 18 YR old wasn’t happy here doesn’t mean that the others aren’t, and she doesn’t think that I’M a good mother,either, but what can SHE say…..and if that’s true then I learned from the “best”(her!) and my hubby said yesterday was something called “Tau Day” too which I’ve never even heard of(I was convinced that he was just making it up) and the only “Tao” I’ve heard of is the ancient Chinese religion Taoism, but he said it was some nerdy math thing….math….ugh! Math is the bane of my existance and the cause of all my highschool misery! I still curse the ancient Greeks for inventing it!

My mother’s friend also told her that when her husband dies that she “won’t be a grieving widow” as she still hasn’t been able to forgive him for when he cheated on her and she’ll never be able to trust him again(I can understand that) and that’s sort of like how I’LL feel when *she* dies,too: she’s such a colossal bitch and so mean to me that when she dies I won’t miss her or her vindictiveness, grudges, meanness, hatefulness, spitefulness, aggravating and provoking me, etc…..

They’re Here!

Screen Shot 06-27-16 at 11.10 AM The 21 YR old and his American sweetheart are back from California! She’s staying with us now for the rest of the summer. He had a nice visit with her and her parents( and to my surprise I was told he behaved himself and wasn’t rude, disrespectful, and didn’t do or say anything inappropriate or any of his racist jokes,etc.) and they liked him! He went to Disneyland, Santa Monica Pier, Venice Beach, restaurants, shopping, to his sweetie’s graduation, met her friends, went to the cinema and saw “Finding Dory”, etc.He had lots of fun and I’m glad!

Screen Shot 06-27-16 at 10.53 AM He also bought these funky gold shoes(my mother thinks they’re gay)in Hollywood, it looks like something that Kanye West would wear, or something,and he got a cool Rolling Stones T-shirt that even I’d wear. Their flight home was uneventful, except they didn’t have any $$$$ to purchase food as the airline only took credit cards for the in-flight food (and they didn’t have the foresight to buy food ahead of time and bring it on board after they’d cleared security)and neither of them have a credit card so they were pretty hungry. Luckily he didn’t do or say anything stupid  passing thru security or on the plane,either(as he’s been known to do, like on the way there wearing his “I ♥ crystal meth” shirt which didn’t go over so well with TSA) such as shouting, “Allahu akhbar!” joking he has a bomb, or wearing a T-shirt that says, “I ♥ ISIS” or something.so they safely arrived without incident, but with him you never know.To say he’s quite the character would be an under-statement!!

Screen Shot 06-27-16 at 06.54 PM I also cut my hair and here is how it looks from the back, which you never get to see so here it is. The 17 YR old spent the day in Toronto as well visiting  her friend who lives there(she took the train up)as he’s going to be away all summer working and they won’t get to see eachother, and the 13 YR old got this hoodie for her upcoming  “Colour Run” and it has a rainbow on it so I joked it’s her “Gay Pride” hoodie.

The Garden.

Screen Shot 06-26-16 at 08.00 PMThis is the 13 YR old’s garden. She planted it herself and waters it every day. Today my mother noticed some of the flowers are missing, there originally were 19 and now there are many less and she’s sure some f*cker dug them up and stole them.I wouldn’t be surprised; the dumb rednecks in this burnt-out town always steal everything.

One time when my mother was even sitting out the front on veranda she even saw someone come by and pick our tulips, right in front of her!My hubby says it was probably just the squirrels digging them up, except if it was then there would still be some of the plant left though; the entire thing is gone, completely dug up and gone, and it’s funny that it was only the pretty purple ones that are missing,too….I swear, I hate this shit-hole and wish I could afford to move!

Screen Shot 06-26-16 at 04.06 PM It’s so sweltering hot as well I almost

passed out and had to spray myself with the hose while I was out getting my suntan, and I found out today that it’s actually illegal in St. Kitt’s to say “Motherf*cker” and if you do that you can be fined, just like how if you say “Bumbo klaat” in Jamaica, and later today the 17 YR old is going to the airport in Toronto to see her friend off who is going back home to Sweden; she was an exchange student here.

Screen Shot 06-26-16 at 04.07 PM.PNG Here is Buddy and I hanging out, relaxing on the new reclining chair on the front veranda. My mother also told me I could be the one to eat the rotten ham because it’s ok if *I* get food poisoning because I’m “just home and don’t do anything,anyway”; I “don’t work and can afford to get sick!” Can you BELIEVE it? What a thing to say! It still doesn’t mean I want to get sick!!! She also always only takes everyone else’s clothes out of the dryer when they’re dry doing laundry and just leaves mine in there…I can imagine God Almighty Himself looking down from Heaven on her and shaking His Head and thinking, “What a bitch! What’s WRONG with her??”



The Graduation And The Tickets.

Screen Shot 06-24-16 at 06.41 PM Here is the 17 YR old, all dressed up, going to a friend’s graduation. She looks so nice! She’s pretty normally, but when she gets all dressed up like this she looks like a princess. I swear, this kid won’t have any trouble finding a husband later; the guys will be lining up for her!I still can’t figure out how we got such a pretty kid though! Still shaking my head at that one…..The graduation was fun and the after-party went on until 1 am and they even went in a limo; now that’s travelling in style! Another of her friends is also going to The Hamptons with her family to visit her cousins for 2 weeks, speaking of swanky and rich folks, and we finished our last day of school Friday as well and are now officially on summer vacation…..except for the 15 and 9 YR olds that is….they’re “behind” in their school work; she’s about 2 weeks behind and has to catch up and it looks like he’ll still be doing his math all summer…..

The 13 YR old also won these concert tickets she didn’t realize were for a redneck country music jamboree so she put them up online for sale and in just a matter of HRS some dumb redneck bought them off her for 300$! Apparantly they were worth 200$ each, for a total of 400$ and she’s always looking for ways to make $$$$$ and now she has even more $$$$ than *I* do! My mother had to clean her bedroom as well so my hubby could re-do her floor and she’s such a pack-rat and hoarder she never throws ANYTHING away and she even found bills back from 1984 when we lived in L.A. and even her university stuff!

In church  they also mentioned how there was this man who sits a couple of rows ahead of where I sit that he’d died the day before, and his wife had just died in May, and it got me thinking, how you just never know….I was so used to seeing them there every week…..and now they’re gone….at least he wasn’t a widower for long and now they’re both together again, but you never know when your time is up…..I have all these nick-names for Buddy,too, incl. “Budmeister”, “Budster”, “Budsicle” “Budsy”, etc.. and he responds to every one of them!