His Job.

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My hubby told me what appeared to be some really good news: the 18 YR old got a job, and a really good one,too: working for a Swedish company that works with Bitcoins and would be paying him 19$ an HR, which is almost DOUBLE minimum wage( pretty good for your first job, don’t ya think?) AND help pay towards his university courses costs, so of course we were over-joyed…..and then we found out that the reason it sounded too-good-to-be-true is because it WAS: it turned out to be some sort of scam and NOT a legitimate job,afterall: they called HIM…..and said HE has to pay THEM $$$$$ to get started…..that’s just sooooo “fishy”…. and so disappointing. Something else will show up though and when God closes one door another opens….

Even more heart-breaking news: I just found out that the 13 YR old’s been *cutting* herself and it’s been going on for quite some time now; I just happened to see some old healed cut marks on her arm exactly like the 18 YR old had so I recognized them….and she has this big bandage over the area for awhile now as well she said was where Buddy “bit” her…..except he never did….and I got suspicious and concerned so I tore the bandage off and was horrified to see several fresh, big, deep, new cuts.

It just broke my heart.I can’t even begin to describe my sorrow. She goes in for her first counselling session tomorrow.I just wish she’d TOLD us she was depressed and struggling.

As well the oldest and the 18 YR old(who live in Alberta) got flooded; they live in the basement part of a house and it got all flooded due to torrential rain so now they’re all sloshing around in inches-deep water, and my mother and hubby always scoff that I “never listen” because I don’t do what THEY want or say but SHE never pays attention or reads labels and always buys the wrong stuff….and then blames ME when *I* get mad she gets the wrong things even though it WAS *her* fault, but that’s yet another example of how she “twists” everything around to make it look like I’m at fault,  and she also gave the 9 YR old an entire box of bagel bites all to himself even though it’s supposed to be shared between 2 people and not just for 1 person to eat…and then she went and complained to all the kids how *I* was “bitching” about it, trying to get them to turn on me and take her “side” like always.

I can also now see that what I thought at the time I had mistaken for “boredom” in my life at age 20 or so was actually a mere absence of stress, fear, and worry…..what I wouldn’t give to have that life BACK….

before I met my hubby…..

before kids…..

before trauma…..

before I got damaged and broken beyond repair…..

before where I was the “old” me, the way I used to be……before.