Return To Amish Finale.

Screen Shot 08-27-16 at 07.09 PM Return To Amish has aired it’s finale and here is the latest on what the cast is up to:

Kate was working as an intern for a designer and participated in Fashion Week in L.A and did a good job and now continues designing her own clothing line and continuing her education in fashion and lives in NYC. She no longer has any communication with Jeremiah since at Christmas he accused her of thinking she’s “better” than the rest of them, and of being “ashamed” of where she’s from and of “abandoning” her former friends.

Mary has decided to return to her husband Chester and the town she used to live in, even though she was banished from the Amish and shunned by the community(I was expecting she’d stay in Lancaster and join the New Order Amish church) but her friends who have become her “adopted family” continue to stick by her.

Rebecca and Abe continue to work on their marriage, which is strained by Abe’s job as a trucker with long times away from home on the road. He has also decided to get his teeth pulled instead of costly dental procedures that they can’t afford. Rebecca is home raising the kids.

Andy is out of jail and now living back at home with his mother Mary, staying clean from drugs and has no contact with his wife, Chapel, since her arrest on drug charges, as he is making an effort to stay out of trouble.

Esther, Abe’s sister, has left the Amish, despite Mary’s objections, and has run away with her boyfriend.

Jeremiah has gotten  married! He surprised everyone by marrying a sweet girl named Carmela that he met online. She has 3 kids and this is his second marriage. He had invited Kate to the wedding but she never came but all the others did as they are all like family. Sabrina questioned whether this was a wise choice for Jeremiah and is worried how it might affect their close bond but wants him to be happy.

Sabrina is clean off drugs, has done her counselling and court-mandated therapies and treatments and was awarded custody of her daughter! She also dropped a surprise bombshell at the very end of the show that she’s pregnant….but WHO is the father? I’m thinking it must be Jeremiah since they’re so close and there was never any indication she might have been with anyone else,and if so, then what happens now? How will that affect Jeremiah’s new marriage, esp. as it would also mean that he was cheating on Carmela during their engagement with Sabrina, and what does that mean for Jeremiah and Sabrina now that there will be a baby? We’ll have to wait until  next summer now to find out…..

What A Trip!

Screen Shot 08-29-16 at 07.12 PM I went on this fantastic trip yesterday and I didn’t even leave the house! After I’d smoked a joint the music I was listening to became altered, and I noticed a David Bowie song that was playing sounded like it was playing on slow speed and my first thought was,”This song isn’t supposed to sound like that!” and  that something must be wrong with my iPod and then I realized, “Oh! It’s my  hearing  that’s off, not the iPod!”

Screen Shot 08-29-16 at 01.15 PM Then as I looked up towards the sky I saw this bright, bright white light, similar to the one pictured here(it was the closest I could get) in a circular pattern, and it was the brightest light I had ever seen yet I could look directly at it without hurting my eyes or even squinting! (I know it wasn’t the sun,either as I was also aware of the sun on the other side, and it was yellow) and it was round with a tunnel with a round black “hole” at the distant end, with the outer rim of the hole rainbow colours, like in a prism, and the “hole” felt like it kept coming closer to me(or was I going towards it? It’s all perspective) and I felt “drawn” to it, like everything in my very being wanted to jump into it onto the other side but then it stared moving farther away from me again.

I also saw this huge angel in the sky and it was an orangy-red colour and so large it took up half the sky,and it was standing beside the bright tunnel light. It cast a shadow all along the house and backyard where I was sitting outside,too and it wasn’t a usual shadow, but an orange colour shadow and I wondered if anyone else could see it as well( even though no one else was out there, I was by myself) or if it was just me and I was transfixed on it but it just hovered there for a few seconds( or was it minutes? The sequence of time was all out of whack and my perception was distorted) and I should have taken a photo of it with the iPod to see what image showed up, if any, but I didn’t even think of it, I was just so enthralled with the spiritual, mystical experience at the time and caught up in the moment.

Thru the rest of the day I continued to feel an “other-worldliness” feeling as well, felt the “veil” “thinning” between us and the Heavens and it seemed so close like I could just reach out and touch it, and every time I’d look up at the sky the colour was like how the sun would look like if you were wearing sunglasses, and I had this revelation that I’m going to die soon as well and had the impression that it’ll be due to an aneurysm, and I will  find the love and happiness that I’ve always longed for,too, only in Heaven, as in Heaven you’re  surrounded and enveloped by love and then happiness would naturally follow as a result. I would finally feel loved, accepted, and like I belong, incl. self-love as I will no longer be  ugly, fat, stupid, or have my limitations and challenges but will be made whole and new and won’t hate myself anymore, and would no longer have the anxieties , worries, traumas, and damage that cripple me here on Earth, either. I will be at peace.

I don’t know if it was a hallucination, a NDE, a “preview” of dying, or just a groovy “trip” but whatever it was, it was intense! WOW!! It’s not something that I’ll ever forget!

She Died.

Screen Shot 08-27-16 at 03.29 PM My cousin with cancer( seen here) has died. They had given her 6 months and she died just 3 months after she was diagnosed. At least the good of it is she didn’t suffer for long and now she’s at peace. She died just 2 days before her birthday,too; she would have turned 69. So now instead of celebrating her birthday here she’ll be celebrating it somewhere else and I pray for her soul, that she’s in Heaven, although she wasn’t a religious person, but we’re not to speculate, it’s up to God to judge, not us. I only met her once and I didn’t really like her as I found her to be brash and loud-mouthed, too much like my aunt(she even looks exactly like her,too!) My aunt’s brother( my uncle) was her father. I wonder if she can see me now and hear me wherever she is?

It would be nice if I could go over there for the funeral too as I’d love to go back to Europe again; it’s been YRS since I’ve been there and it would nice to visit my cousins. It would also be nice to get a break away from my family here, a vacation, but I can’t afford the airfare, yet part of me just screams, “Oh, f*ck it! Charge it on your credit card and just  go!” but then the logical , responsible part of me nixes the idea and goes, “What were you  thinking?” Aw, shit….

Screen Shot 08-28-16 at 04.14 PM This picture of me was also taken when I had make-up on and was all dressed up nice for church…..but still ugly. No matter what I do or how hard I try I’m still always ugly. Ugly runs on  both sides of my family so I really had no chance right from the beginning. My mouth always looks like it’s been put on crooked,too. What the hell is up with that, anyway? We got a guest priest from Africa in church yesterday,too, and for church I believe in dressing in your Sunday best; if you were to have lunch with the Queen you’d dress all nice and fancy so doesn’t our Lord deserve your best too when you visit His House?

The 15 YR old called me an “old redneck” too even though it’s my hubby that’s the redneck, not me; I don’t even like  sports, country music, pool, darts, wrestling, UFC, NASCAR, beer,Monster trucks,BINGO, etc. like rednecks do. I just don’t get why they’re always hassling,insulting, and berating me.I’m just so sick of this family. My hubby also said he hopes Buddy gets run over by a car so I told him to go play in traffic himself, and when I was walking Buddy a young guy talked to me as well(and said to Buddy, “Are you enjoying your walk with Mom?”) and he was just being friendly, it’s not like he was flirting or anything, but it still  felt good having someone being nice to me and it really made my day. It put a spring in my step and elevated my mood and gave me a boost. I’m not used to people being kind and it was nice.

The BBQ.

Screen Shot 08-27-16 at 03.25 PM We had a BBQ, probably the last one of the summer. My hubby was the cook( BBQ is the only thing that man can cook!) and the flames shot up so high that I thought he was going to singe his eyebrows off! I went for a swim beforehand and then worked up a good appetite for the food. It generated so much smoke that I’m sure all the neighbours were hungry and jealous, and we smelled like a campfire.Seeing the flames like that also reminded me of our fire 20 YRS ago,too. Not fun.

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Here are some of the goodies on the grill. We also had corn on the cob in the husks( which smelled like weed while cooking!) for the 15 YR old who’s a vegetarian. Buddy was standing by patiently, waiting, hoping for my hubby to drop a hotdog like he usually does and he wasn’t disappointed; his persistence paid off: he dropped a  hamburger, which is even better! He was one very happy little Dachshund, that’s for sure, and my fine furried friend  enjoyed *his* BBQ,too! We also joke if he eats hotdogs that he’s a “cannibal.”

Screen Shot 08-27-16 at 03.25 PM 003 Here’s some of the cooked food, ready to eat.(I love peeling the blistered skins off the hotdogs!) It looks like enough to feed an army, which the number of people in our house practically is. I also kept getting bitten by blackflies; they were eating me alive,and yesterday I got stung by a wasp,too. Bugs are the only bad thing about summer and if it weren’t for them then summer would be  perfect.  I still can’t believe there’s just one more week of summer left and then it’s back to school. I wish it could be summer all YR long.

My throat’s also been “scratchy”, hoarse, sore, and feels like there’s a huge wad of “hork” stuck in there for awhile lately as well and I wonder if it’s just my allergies, or maybe I inhale too deeply when I smoke weed and it’s like smoke inhalation or irritation or something….or could it perhaps be an allergic reaction to the wasp sting I got(even though it was my arm) and my throat’s swelling up? Whatever it is, it’s really annoying!